When sitting around arguing over things as mundane as the funniest names in baseball history, we decided it might be more productive to open up the vote to everyone.
So here it is! We already had it narrowed down to ten. You pick your top three and help us decide who has the funniest name in baseball history.
Click on the images to enlarge.
Kosuke Fukudome
His name scores on so many different levels. His first contains the word SUK. Then you’ve got his last name, pure gold. Let me spell his name with a few choice spaces. FUK U DO ME. One more time. FUK U DO ME. Never gets old.
Albert Pujols
My four year old laughs when he hears Prince Albert’s full name. I’ll say it right now just to see… Sure enough, he laughed.
Johnny Dickshot
It appears this last name is extinct. If you or someone you know has the last name of Dickshot and has the birth certificate to prove it, e-mail it to us for a special prize.
Rusty Kuntz
This is one of the most obvious of knee-slappers. Of course, who has the balls to f**k a rusty kuntz?
Boof Bonser*
He will enter this vote with an asterisk, due to the fact that he legally changed his name to Boof in 2001. This was not his birth name, but so many people love this nickname it would be a travesty to omit it due to a small technicality.
Urban Shocker
It is doubtful the SHOCKER we know and love so well (2 in the pink, 1 in the stink) was part of everyday slang when Ol’ Urban was throwin’ the rock, it doesn’t mean we can’t laugh today.
Coco Crisp
Everytime I hear/read his name I have to make a bowl of cereal. Doesn’t matter what I’m doing.
Milton Bradley
It’s hard to believe his parents would do this to him. If they would name him Milton Bradley, it’s hard telling what else they’d do. Bradley is one of the most pissed off and mentally unstable players in baseball. I blame his parents.
Dick Pole
His first and last names are interchangeable. You could call him Cock Shaft and he should respond.
Mike Sweeney
This one is by far the most childish. What is so funny about his name you ask? Say it faster. One more time. Get it? Mike’s Weenie! Hahahahahahaha! STFU.
You vote! Who has the funniest name? Pick your top three.
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I mean seriously? Johnny Dickshot? It doesn't get much better than that…
Rusty Kuntz. sounds painful!!!
the best is Dick Pole's first name is Richard, but Dick was more acceptable for him
What's up with your percentages? What are you Fox News?
You have to take into account that you can vote for more than one. The percentages are how many votes the name got out of all votes cast. Rusty Kuntz has 8 out of 14. Hence-57%. Try again.
I know some of these are not actual birth names, but how do parents do this to their children!
This player's name has no sexual connotation but is rather interesting- Jose Uribe. He is literally "the player to be named later". He was born Jose Gonzalez, but realized that the league was being saturated with Jose Gonzalez's so he changed his last name to Uribe. He had a decent career for the Giants in the late 80's and early 90's.
I agree on Milton Bradley, either his parents are huge fans of board games like "Operation" and "The Game of Life" or just plain ignorant. By the way, he has two younger twin BROTHERS named, Parker and Parker.
Hey Losers…..Dont see any of your names published anywhere!!! What have you done to make you famous???? Grow up, get a life, stop spending your “losing time” making fun of people’s names…really, get life losers!!! Find something productive to do….making fun of people is sad, very, very sad…. GROW UP!!!
Making fun of people is fun. That’s why they call it making fun. Don’t tell me you didn’t get any enjoyment typing your little tirade. If you ever need to spend a little time lecturing people about how immature they are, please come back. We’re here for you!
Rusty Kuntz hands down-
http://naughtyjerseys.typepad.com/blog/
Boy, Tom Smith won’t like me very much.
Rusty Kuntz, hands down. His last name is pronounced Koontz, though
Yeah, it’s not good making fun with peoples name. As long as it’s not that serious, I think it’s ok. Albert Pujols!
Rusty Kuntz FTW!
His nick name was “Ugly” Dickshot
Chone Figgins?
Thats right….spend time berrating others not to waste time……what a pole shot you are!!!! DH