Hey everybody, in case you had any doubt whatsoever, celestial beings are definitely watching over the Denver Broncos.

Don’t get me wrong. Clearly, God likes Tom Brady. But this year, he’s got different plans.

The proof is in the photos. Just look at them. Jesus was there!

According to the Huffington Post, the Broncos have no comment. I didn’t try to get a comment myself  ’cause I’m a lazy ass.

Wouldn’t it be f**ked up if Tim Tebow actually sold his soul to the devil and part of the charade is he has to act like a devout Christian in order to gain the following he so desired?

Nobody on that team better commit a felony or we’re going to have some really conflicted people’s heads exploding.

Psssst.

-Memo to Terrell Suggs; If you call yourself “Sizzle”, and claim in the Sunday Night Football intro that you are a graduate of “Ball-So-Hard University”, you probably shouldn’t let Phillip Rivers hang 34 on you in front of a national audience.  You also are a monumental douche-wagon.  Baltimore got punched in the mouth by San Diego 34-14, as the Chargers kept their playoff hopes alive with the win.

-Vince Lombardi Romeo Crennell coached his Kansas City Chiefs to a victory over the previously unbeaten Packers.  The Pack looked slow, lethargic, and extremely uninterested in the game from the start.  While I don’t see this being a trend, it was a pretty big let down for Cheese-Head-Nation, while the ’72 Dolphins toasted their customary bottle of haterade.

-Don’t look now… but the Colts aren’t a lock for the #1 overall pick after their 27-13 win against Tennessee.  Jesus, Jim Caldwell can’t do anything right.

-Grace may say ‘Tim Tebow’ before dinner, but Tom Brady doesn’t care.  The Patriots were sharp in the second half Sunday in Denver, downing the Broncos 41-23.  Brady ended the day with 320 yards and a pair of scores through the air, and also punched one in on the ground.  In the end, the lead was too much, even for Tebow.

-Caleb Hanie should give back his pay check, because he is stealing money from the Chicago Bears.  The Bears tail-spin continued Sunday at home as the Seahawks railroaded Chicago 38-14, outscoring them 31-0 in the second half.  Yikes… Time to wave goodbye, Bears.

-Drew Brees single handedly punched my ticket to the Fantasy Football Finals with his preposterous 412 yard, 5 touchdown performance in just 3 quarters.  Arguably more important to Brees, his play helped the Saints improve to 11-3 with a swagger that has to make the Packers sweat a little bit.  The Saints are going off a 5-1 to win the Super Bowl on Sportsbook.com.  Hmmm….

-The Giants stink, and Brandon Jacobs is a colossal waste of talent.

-TJ Yates remembered that he was TJ Yates, tossing a pair of interceptions as the Texans lost to Carolina 28-13.  Carolina pulled out all the stops in the win, including one of the more exciting plays of the year.

-The Jets stink.  Mark Sanchez stinks.  I’ve been telling you that for 2 years.

-Megatron is back.  Lions QB Matthew Stafford found his favorite target 9 times for a career high 214 yards and a pair or scores as the Lions blocked a potential game winning field goal as time expired gifting the Lions a 28-27 victory.  Those crazy Lions…

-I want to see Alabama and LSU to play the most BORING game in the history of the BCS, forcing that sham of a system to crumble.  This one shouldn’t be a stretch…

-I want poor Chris Paul to find a home.  Though I believe he is SUPREMELY overrated, being jerked around the way that he is doesn’t seem fair.  “Hey Chris, you’re a Laker… just kidding, you’re a Hornet…  I mean you’re a Clipper… err… still a Hornet… oh and a Clipper again.”  What a joke.

-I’d like to see the Cleveland Browns training staff explain why they felt that quarterback Colt McCoy didn’t need a full concussion test after this hit.  I needed a concussion test from just watching Colt get crushed by that criminal.

-Speaking of criminals… I’d love to see these animals prosecuted.  This thuggery has absolutely no place in college sports.  Think their scholarships will be suspended?  They should be.

-I’d like to see Peyton Manning get healthy.  I’m not used to watching the Colts play this bad.

-I want to sit down with the NBA owners and let them know that they are doing it wrong.  Locking out the players because you’re losing money, and then turning around and handing Kwame Brown $8 million this year is a travesty.  How did you peabrains become billionaires?

-I would love to see Albert Pujols flounder with the Angels.  I don’t care that you didn’t hold an obnoxious press conference with Jim Grey, when you leave a city that loves you for a city that couldn’t care less about their sports franchise, you become Baseball Lebron.  You rat.

-I’d like Michael Phelps to lay off the hippie-lettuce.  2012 Summer Olympics are right around the corner…  USA!  USA!  USA!

-I would like to see Buster Posey, Stephen Strausburg, and Adam Wainwright bounce back next season.  These three are solid young stars that make the game more fun to watch.  And don’t cheat.  I’m looking at you, Ryan Braun.

-I’d like to see the Packers go 16-0 and win the Super Bowl.  Mainly because I am a minority owner in the franchise.  Go Pack Go!

-I don’t even want Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather to fight anymore.  Who cares?  Losers.

-I’d like to see some justice for these creeps that are accused of molesting children.  Seriously… what is wrong with these freaks?  Maximum sentences all around.

-I don’t want Andrew Luck to be as good as advertised.  I want him to be better.

-I want the Miami Heat to suck.  Like… REALLY bad.

-I want Ndomukong Suh and James Harrison to fight in a steel cage match.  Loser leaves the NFL forever.  Winner gets staph infection.

-I never want Tim Tebow to leave the spotlight.  I know he is a total cheese dick.  I know he doesn’t have the throwing mechanics that Mel Kiper jerks off to.  I know he rubs some people the wrong way…  but he is the best.  He is television gold, and he is fun to watch.  If you don’t root for Tim Tebow, you don’t root for America.  Stop being a communist.

Two high school kids in New York were suspended for creating a gathering of 40 students in the hallway of their school doing  simultaneous “Tebowing”.

The school suggests that it has nothing to do with Tebow’s religious beliefs, rather it was a safety concern that caused the suspensions.

“It causes a potentially unsafe situation with 1,500 people in the building,” Principal David Wicks said Thursday. “If you have 40 kids kneeling down in the middle of a hallway, and God forbid a fire alarm goes off, they could potentially stop someone from getting to safety.”

First of all, saying “God forbid” is a bit ironic. No way would God allow something like this to happen to fellow Tebow supporters. Secondly, if a fire did occur, it’s safe to assume the only kids that would survive would be the ones worshiping Tebow.

In the end, kids, it’s probably a good idea if you do not mock Tim Tebow. Even if it is in flattering fashion.

This is Tim Tebow’s world.  We are all just living in it.  What did Tim Tebow allow us learn this week?

- I love the NFL Red Zone channel on DirecTV.  I didn’t have to watch the first three quarters of sludge that Denver and Chicago called a football game, but they sure did let me know when it was Tebow time.  With 2 minutes left in the game, the Denver Broncos were down 10-0 against one of the most feared defenses in the NFL.  Tim Tebow doesn’t care.

Tebow connected with Demaryuis Thomas for a 10 yard touchdown pass to put the Broncos within a field goal.  Marion Barber inexplicably sauntered out of bounds near the end of the fourth quarter, setting the stage for a Matt Prater BOMB field goal that sent the game into OT.

In OT, Jesus forced a Marion Barber fumble, and Tebow worked his magic once again… putting his team in position to win for the sixth consecutive week.  Prater delivered.  Broncos win.  Tebow mania ensues.

- Houston beat the Bungals on a last second touchdown pass from TJ Yates to Kevin Walter, virtually eliminating them from playoff contention.  Rough week for Cincinnati.

- Christian Ponder got benched for the Vikings after turning the ball over 4 times against the Detroit Lions.  Once the first round draft pick hit the pine, the game got a lot more interesting as the Vikings scored 21 of the games final 27 points, but still fell short 34-28.

- There was a JP Losman sighting in Miami.  I assume you know how this game turned out based on that sentence alone.  Eagles rolled 26-10 as the Matt Barkley era cannot come soon enough to South Beach. Oh — and Tony Sparano got the axe as the Bill Parcells Experiment continues its dismantling.

- The Kansas City Chiefs fired head coach Todd Haley after getting destroyed by the New York Jets 37-10.  In other news involving talentless coat-tail riders that nobody on the planet is surprised about, Kim Kardashian is already over her “marriage” to Kris Humphries and is dating again.

- New England squeaked by Washington 34-27 while Tom Brady, their goldenboy QB, looked to be a bit tarnished after a sideline argument with his QB coach.  He and Giselle must be on the same cycle.

- The Packers are awesome.  You probably already knew that.

- The Bills stink.  You probably already knew that too.

- The Cowboys fell to the Giants on Sunday night, after Eli erased a 12 point deficit late in the game.  I love when the Cowboys fail.  It just makes everything seem right in the world.

Follow me on Twitter @JockPostDT to discuss Tom Brady’s in game break down, Tim Tebow’s magic, or anything else on your mind!

-The greatest rivalry in sports was renewed this weekend as Ohio State took the field in Ann Arbor to face the Michigan Wolverines.  Denard Robinson was magical, combining for 337 yards and 5 touchdowns as the Wolverines got the sweater-vest-less monkey off their back and won 40-34.  Hail to the victors, enjoy it while you can because as we learned earlier this week, Urban is coming to Columbus and things are about to go back to normal.

-Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.  Tebow lead his Broncos to a division win over the San Diego Chargers 16-13 at Qualcomm Stadium.  It wasn’t pretty, but a win is a win and Tebow certainly knows how to get it done.

-Alabama boat raced Auburn 42-14, as Tide running back Trent Richardson carried the load to the tune of 27 carries for 203 yards.  Though the Alabama defense proved once again that they are the cream of the crop, without even appearing in their conference title game, should they be considered for the national title game?  Not in my eyes.

-On Thursday, the biggest turkey around was Lions defensive tackle Ndomukong Suh.  There is a fine line between being a tough and aggressive player, and being a scummy dirt bag.  Suh curb stomped that line as Green Bay prevailed 27-15 over Detroit.

-Stanford hosted Notre Dame in prime time Saturday night, and Andrew Luck impressed.  Luck tossed four scores as the Irish fell to the Cardinal 28-14.

-Remember all those Chicago Bear fans that ridiculed Jay Cutler for being a sissy, claiming the Bears would be better without him?  Caleb Hanie thinks you’re all idiots.  With Jay Cutler, the Bears were the hottest team in the NFL.  Without him, they lost to the Raiders and have those same fans praying for a playoff spot.  Though the defense kept them in the game, Hanie’s three interceptions were too much to overcome as the Raiders squeaked by 25-20.

-Baylor scored 66 points against Texas Tech.  In football, not basketball like I had originally thought when I saw the score.  Is anyone’s NFL stock hotter than RG3 right now?

-Stevie Johnson dominated the New York Jets secondary all afternoon, until he dropped a potential game winner as time wound down.  The Jets squeaked by 28-24, as Sanchez and his boys continued to look subpar.

-USC embarrassed the UCLA Bruins 50-0 at the Coliseum Saturday night.  To answer my previous question… yes, Matt Barkley’s NFL draft stock may be hotter than RG3.  Barkley threw for 423 and 6 touchdowns in the drubbing. 

-Tom Brady is pretty good.  So are the Patriots.  Vince Young isn’t terrible.  The Philadelphia Eagles are.  New England beat the Eagles 38-20 in Philly, as Brady and Vince Young combined for 761 yards through the air.  “Fire Andy Reid” chants echoed through Lincoln Financial Field in the fourth quarter.  Maybe the fans mistook Reid for Santa….Cretins.

-The Georgia Bulldogs beat the Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech to secure a spot in the SEC Championship game.  As a reminder, Georgia is one win away from being crowned the BEST TEAM in the SEC, and lost to Boise State by 2 touchdowns earlier this year, yet pundits are calling for an all SEC title game.  Morons.  End this sham.

Follow me on Twitter @JockPostDT to discuss Boise State, Urban Meyer, or anything else on your mind.

-The Dallas Cowboys are one of the most storied franchises in the National Football League.  Hall of Fame running backs Emmitt Smith, Tony Dorsett, and countless others have dawned that silver helmet with the blue star and ran between the tackles for Dallas.  Of all those running backs, none have ran for as many yards as rookie back Demarco Murray did on Sunday.  253 yards later, Murray etched his name into the record books as his Cowboys beat the St. Louis Rams 34-7… though I am calling for an asterisk because the Rams are THAT bad.

-Kyle Boller started the game at quarterback for the Oakland Raiders on Sunday.  On his first series, he threw a touchdown… to the Kansas City Chiefs.  Boller finished the first half with three interceptions and was promptly benched for new Raider Carson Palmer.  Not to be outdone, Palmer chucked three picks of his own in the second half.  Maybe it’s time to get the Old Gunslinger on the horn…

-The Miami Dolphins were leading the Denver Broncos by 2 scores with less than 3 minutes to play in the fourth quarter.  Some would call a lead like that insurmountable.  Tim Tebow is not one of those people.  The Mile High Messiah connected on a pair of touchdown passes and ran in a 2 point conversion to force overtime.  In the extra frame, Tebow willed his team to victory 18-15, helping the Broncos to their second win of the season.  Also, both of these teams blow.

-Speaking of teams that blow, the Cleveland Browns topped the Seattle Seahawks 6-3 in one of the most unwatchable games in history.  With just 9 points scored, “the under” definitely paid… both in total points scored and number of NFL caliber football players on either of these offenses.  Watching these offenses trying to move the ball was just painful.

-I passed on Arian Foster in my fantasy football draft, so I will choose not to write about his 230 yard, three touchdown performance against the Titans as the Texans won 41-7.

-Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis got another tip-pass gift of an interception against the San Diego Chargers Sunday.  After Malcom Floyd bumped the ball volleyball-style right in Revis’ bread basket as the Jets came from behind to win 27-21. 

-Cecil’s boy totaled 300 yards and a pair of scores as Carolina beat Washington 33-20 in a game that saw 5 first half field goals.

-Drew Brees tossed 5 touchdown passes as the Saints beat the Colts 62-7.  There’s really not much else to talk about in this game.

-The Green Bay Packers remain the last undefeated team, as they held off division rival Minnesota 33-27.  Rookie quarterback Christian Ponder impressed as he threw for 220 and a pair of scores, but the difference maker in the game was Aaron Rogers.  Rogers finished the game with over 330 yards, three scores, and a command of the offense that is jaw-dropping.

-Chicago and Tampa took a trip across the pond on Sunday.  While the field changed, Matt Forte did what Matt Forte does and that is run for a ton of yards.  Forte finished the day with 145 yards and a score as the Bears improved to 4-3 with a 24-18 victory.  In defeat, Josh Freeman threw four picks in front of Tampa owner Malcolm Glazer, who had a rough day…  earlier that afternoon Glazer watched his premier league team Manchester United get throttled by Manchester City 6-1.  I’m sure that ruined the billionaire’s day for about 2 minutes.

-Tweet of the week: @AndrewSiciliano –  9th NFL game since 2000 with 9 or fewer points. 3 of the last 4 with 9 points or less involved the Browns.

Follow me on Twitter @JockPostDT to discuss Tebow, the Browns, or anything else sports related.

Santa is taking a break this year, so he left it to us to decide what athletes get what this year. But unlike Santa, we don’t know if they are sleeping. We don’t know if they are awake. But we sure as hell know if if they have been bad or good, and many of these peeps have not been good (for goodness sake). But some have. So here is our Naughty or Nice list of 2010.

Naughty

LeBron James – F**k him.

Reggie Bush – Having to give the Heisman back is a pretty big punishment on it’s own. I’m not sure he really deserves to be put in the same category as some of these other dirtbags. Maybe he didn’t know that his parents were getting money? That’s crazy talk though, right?

Floyd Mayweather- If he and Pacman would just fight, I would put him on the Nice list and be done with it. But he hasn’t, and he hits chicks, so naughty it is.

JaMarcus Russell- I know, who really gives a piss about Russell anymore? I know I don’t. Which is why this bitch isn’t even getting coal. He can take his guaranteed money and buy all the sizzurp he needs.

Julius Threats – This is the 21-year-old dude that pretended to be a Middle School student so he could play football and hook up with 15-year-old girls. Enough said.

Ben Roethlisberger – I know he wasn’t technically charged with anything, but something fishy went down that night, which resulted in a 4 game suspension by the NFL. If you need a reminder of just how big of a creep this guy is, just read the transcripts again.

Jay Marioti – I’m just glad I don’t have to watch this douchebag on Around The Horn anymore.

Braylon Edwards - I could probably put quite a few Jets players on this list, but Edwards has had quite the s**tty year. He has been arrested for DUI charges as well as pleading no contest to assault. Anyone else notice that since “The  Decision”, no one really cares that Braylon punched LeBron’s friend?

Bruno Fernandes – The Brazilian Soccer Goalie that was accused of watching the murder of his ex-girlfriend, but that’s not the naughty part. He was also accused of chopping up her body and feeding it to the dogs. Aren’t you supposed to use Pigs? Amateur.

Tom Lewand – The Lions President got a DUI. Coal.

Damon Evans – The Georgia AD makes an anti-DUI video, then goes off and gets a DUI of his own. He wins the award for hypocrite of the year.

Lawrence Taylor – Whether you rape, or just have a sex with a 16-year-old, it isn’t a good thing. Either way, I will still always be the Giants if I play Tecmo Bowl.

Matthew Clemens – It’s sad when you know someone’s name because he got hammered and threw up all over a little girl at a Phillies game. Not the 15 minutes I would want.

Joey Porter – Don’t f**k with Joey Porter’s tacos.

Dwight Gooden – Don’t do drugs and drive with your 5-year-old kid in the car. Just don’t do it.

Brett Favre – Jenn Sterger (NSFW) and Brett Favre’s junk are two of the most talked about topics of 2010.

Nice

Shawn Rogers- Ok, so he brought a gun into the airport. Not exactly something you want to do. But he made up for it by basically making a citizens arrested and pulling over a drunk driver. He deserves a policeman’s outfit. XXXXXL

Ken Griffey, Jr. - Sweetest swing in baseball history. He will always be an enormous memory from my childhood, and his retirement shouldn’t have been so underdone. He deserves a monument or some s**t.

Tim Tebow – I’m pretty sure it is illegal to have a Nice list without having Tim Tebow on it. I’m not 100% positive, but it just isn’t worth the risk.

ReLeaf – This pot club in San Francisco apparently gave away free weed for every Giants home run in the World Series. They made a lot of people very happy.

Jim Tressel- In 2010, Tressel did the first interview in history with a Gay magazine by a D1 coach. Now if we can just figure out what the hell is wrong with his players.

River City Rascals – The Minor League baseball team signed a little person for one game to honor Eddie Gaedel. That’s just nice of them.

Lou Piniella – One of the best, most entertaining managers in baseball history decided to retire in 2010.

Scott Rolen- Without the leadership of Rolen, the Reds would not have been able to get embarrassed in the playoffs. He deserves his own song. Wait, I think he already has one.

Tiger Woods – Just because everybody else still be hatin’. Change is tough. It would appear he is doing his best.

Hot Girls – Every single chick on this list.

Delonte West- Just based on the fact that there is a chance he might have been boning LeBron’s mom.

Ron Artest- He helps win a Championship for the Lakers, then he comes out with a rap song entitled “Champion”. Not a bad year for a guy that is admittedly crazy.

Eri Yoshida – She won one for the ladies this year with her major league debut as a pitcher for the Chico Outlaws in the Independent League. Which apparently made me want to come up with a new way of pitching so I could play in the pro’s…

George Karl – Dude is a fighter. He kicked the s**t out of cancer yet again in 2010. What is that? Karl 3, cancer 0?

Charles Barkley – He just makes me laugh all the time. This was one of his better moments of 2010.

Colt McCoy - The former Longhorn quarterback proposed to his fiance on the 50 yard line at Texas Stadium. Isn’t he just a sweetie. Then he gets drafted by the Browns. Nice guys finish last right?

Fortunately for some of the other athletes out there that f**ked up in 2010, our lists aren’t quite as long as Santa’s. But that doesn’t mean they are off the hook. Even if Santa is taking a break in 2010, with the internet readily available, you better believe someone is watching.

This Week: 2-1
Last Week: 9-7
Overall: 76-80-6

Every week Dylan Murphy from Pardon The Opinion gives us his NFL picks of the week against the spread. As always, these picks are brought to you for entertainment purposes only.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS (-1) over Minnesota Vikings

Can Leslie Frazier pull a Jason Garrett and reinvigorate the corpse of Brett Favre and the Vikings defense? Not a chance. The only hope for Minnesota to salvage this season and compile a respectable record is to turn to Tavaris Jackson. But there’s no way Frazier, in his first head coaching position, becomes forever known as “the guy who ended Favre’s streak.”

Frazier also does not have the personality to immediately change team sentiment. Jason Garrett’s style contrasted that of Wade Phillips. The Cowboys needed a bit of Denzel Washington at T.C. Williams to revitalize their resolve, and so do the Vikings. But Frazier will be walked over by Brett and the Vikings’ ship will continue to sink.

This is not at all an endorsement of the Redskins. Until they enter full rebuilding mode, their franchise will be stuck in the 7-9 win range. It’s remarkable how Dan Snyder continues to ignore the whole “build through the draft” concept. Football is a team sport. You cannot have a Miami Heat/Boston Celtics free agency coup in football. Nor can you hire a big name, overrated coach whose only success came with the greatest QB of all time and expect a Super Bowl ring.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5) over BUFFALO BILLS

Is anyone else in love with the irony of Hines Ward complaining that Richard Seymour was not punished enough for his cheap shot on Big Ben? He’s lucky the NFL does not review past tape because his fines under the current rules would probably exceed $1 million.

The Bills have had their fun. They beat up on the Bengals and barely defeated Detroit. Now that thye have to face legitimate squad, don’t expect their success to continue. Part of me thinks that this game will be closer than it appears on paper simply because Ryan Fitzpatrick might be the greatest “chucker” QB in the NFL.

For those of you who do not know, “chuckers” are the QBs who have a penchant for randomly long completions. Ask Fitzpatrick to run a legitimate offense and he fails miserably. But ask him to run around and create one big play for every two terrible throws and you have the guy you want. Well, almost. Tony Romo has to be #1.

HOUSTON TEXANS (-6.5) over Tennessee Titans

The Houston Texans subscribe to a seasonal formula:

1) Start out hot with a few impressive wins – get the country believing that they have changed their losing/non-clutch ways

2) Begin to lose a few games but maintain the trust of the public

3) Lose some more and completely lose the trust of the public

4) Start to win towards the end of the season when they have already been essentially eliminated from the playoff picture. This winning regains some trust and provides unfulfilled hope for next season.

I think we have reached stage 4. That and the Titans are in complete disarray. Jeff Fisher should lose his job. Not solely because he has mishandled the Vince Young situation, but also because he has had middling success over his extended head coaching career. Outside of one close Super Bowl loss, his teams have done nothing worthy of his 17 year reign.

Jacksonville Jaguars (+7) over NEW YORK GIANTS

Too many injuries and too many “are the Giants collapsing midseason again” questions for the Giants to win comfortably. To compound the problem, Coughlin has benched Bradshaw for his fumbling problems. Although I have always been in favor of his disciplinary style, the situation changes when it pushes Brandon Jacobs into a starting role.

Did you know Jacksonville is tied for the division lead? Neither did I until I just looked it up. Jack Del Rio reminds me of Marvin Lewis. He was on the verge of losing his job until his team had a good season (last year). Don’t be surprised if Del Rio hangs on for one more year until he finally gets the hook, as Marvin will at the end of this season.

CLEVELAND BROWNS (-10) over Carolina Panthers

Any time you are thankful that your QB with a sub 50% completion percentage is healthy and ready to return to the starting lineup, your franchise is in disrepair. Unfortunately for Carolina, this will lead to the firing of John Fox. But let’s get one thing straight: This situation is not his fault.

Once he loses his job, how many teams will come calling to fill their head coaching vacancy? 5? 10? If multiple teams want to hire your recently fired coach, then you probably should not have let him go. I stress “multiple” because only one team sought after Herman Edwards and Eric Mangini (I know the Browns are mediocre this year, but Mangini is not the reason. Until McCoy entered the lineup, Mangini was scheduling a Burger King date with Wade Phillips.) And look how successful they have been.

I love the emergence of Peyton Hillis as a quality running back. I also love the racism built into the NFL. When you found out Hillis was succeeding as he was, was your reaction not (to some degree) “I can’t believe he’s good! He’s white!” You would think over the last 20 years there would be some other white running back who ran as successfully with a downhill style (Mike Alstott does not count, he was a fullback).

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7.5) over BALTIMORE RAVENS

It’s like Vegas has ignored the Josh Freeman factor. Any game he plays in will be close. For whatever reason, his sensors do not kick in until the 4th quarter. But with his team down and the opposing defense unwilling to give up the big play, he eats away at big leads week after week. So when Baltimore is up 17 in the 4th, do not lose faith.

Baltimore is officially the most frustrating Super Bowl contender. The Atlanta Falcons made a statement with their victory over Baltimore, but so did Joe Flacco. Despite his development into a quality NFL QB, he shrinks from big games. Think pre-Super Bowl Peyton Manning.

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Chicago Bears

Chicago’s defense has singlehandedly masked the problems of Jay Cutler and the Chicago offense. They have no running game. They have no WRs. They have a QB with a bad habit of throwing interceptions. If this team manages to sneak into the playoffs as a wildcard, they will receive quite the shock back to reality. They are, at best, an 8-8 talent with an inflated record.

To be perfectly honest, it’s hard to see any team beating the Eagles. Their defense, as always, is tough. Their offense, despite the mediocre game Vick had last week, is virtually unstoppable. Even though the point total was not extremely high, the Giants could barely slow down the offense. Every Eagles’ punt came after at least a few first downs. We always imagined what would happen if Vick became a quality pocket QB. Well, he has. And it’s scary.

ATLANTA FALCONS (-2) over Green Bay Packers

If Atlanta is truly the best team in the NFC, they win this game. Great teams take care of business at home, regardless of the opponent. Their 5-0 home record suggests that they will do just that.

OAKLAND RAIDERS (-3) over Miami Dolphins

The Bill Simmons-coined “Rule of Gus” applies here. Every game Gus Johnson has announced this season has undergone a dramatic ending or change of momentum. The spread is not big enough to account for this factor, so I’ll take the more talented home team.

Chad Henne’s fall from grace has somehow remained under the radar. Before the season, everyone praised him as the second coming of Dan Marino and penciled the Dolphins into the playoffs. Then the Dolphins started poorly, Henne got benched and the chatter disappeared. In a football crazy town, the chatter would not have died as it did in Miami.

Had the Henne situation happened to Mark Sanchez, it would have been one of the leading stories of the NFL season. But it’s not, because Miami is not a football town. Now that Jacksonville is giving the league every reason to support its continued existence in Florida, how about we just move the Dolphins to L.A. instead?

Kansas City Chiefs (-1.5) over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Three weeks ago I would have shuddered at the thought of picking against Seattle at home. Not anymore.

The NFL should institute a rule prohibiting teams with a sub .500 record from making the playoffs. I understand that it disrupts the integrity of division play, but do we really want to see Seattle lose by 30 in the wildcard round? I admire Pete Carroll’s ability to revive the Seahawks to respectability, but they are still a year or two (or a QB) away from legitimate contention.

I sincerely hope Kansas City manages to steal the AFC West away from San Diego. How intense would a home game at Arrowhead be? As talented as the Chargers are, their home fans do not compare to those of Kansas City. Let’s be honest: there’s not much else going on there. The Royals are in perpetual state of losing and they have not had a basketball team in 30 years. Give the city a break and get on Kansas City’s side.

St. Louis Rams (+4) over DENVER BRONCOS

It’s probably just my Giants’ bias bubbling to the surface, but Steve Spagnuolo is one of the most underrated coaches in the league. He correctly waited to draft a QB and turned the Rams previously horrific defense into a sack machine (#1 in the league) and generally tough unit (9th in points allowed per game). Had I told you before the season that the Rams would have a shot at the division title in Week 12, you would have told me that Jake Delhomme had a better chance of returning to the Pro Bowl.

It seems that the entire NFL has forgotten about Tim Tebow. After having the highest selling jersey in the league, he has disappeared behind the pass happy Kyle Orton. When McDaniels is eventually fired, does the new coach leave Tebow on the bench and stick with Orton? Or does he trade Tebow? Or trade Orton? Big decisions to be made by the next Broncos head coach. If my vote counted for anything, I’d vote for trading Orton.

The NFL has proven that it takes a great QB, not just a mediocre one (Orton) to take your team to the Super Bowl. Orton has no chance of attaining that status and is currently at his highest value. Tebow, on the other hand, will be either a huge bust or a huge success. It’s worth a shot (at least for one season).

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-3) over San Diego Chargers

The Chargers resurgence takes a quick break as Peyton Manning plays at night and at home. A double whammy.

San Francisco 49ers (-1) over Arizona Cardinals

Hands down the most boring Monday Night Football game of the season. In fact, any NFC West game is unwatchable. It’s truly a shame that they always play at 4 P.M. because it ruins late afternoon football. 1 P.M. is great because there are multiple games to watch. At 4 P.M., the slate of games is cut in half. But with the NFC West taking up a portion of those late games, the games are cut in half once again. That leaves 1-3 watchable games at most. Not what I’m looking for on a Sunday afternoon.

Inspiration, indeed!! What’s not inspiring about a 23-year-old millionaire that has never experienced failure?? The very announcement of the not-coming-soon-enough memoir was enough to inspire the f**k out of me! Today, I did NOT jerk-off! I wrote this instead! I did laundry AND ran my vacuum! Thanks to Timmy, see?

You should all take heed, and be inspired too. Go to the gym, eat a meal, take a dump. You should all do the same things you do every other day, because if a self-righteous, rookie, backup quarterback is inspiring to you, then you are in deep s**t. It probably explains a lot about why you’re reading this and not blastin’ ho’s.

The ghost-writer of this rag is none other than Nathan Whitaker. Yes, THAT Nathan Whitaker.

He is also responsible for bringing us “Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, & Priorities of a Winning Life”, via Tony Dungy.

Must. Choke back. Vomit.

But if you are draw inspiration from men paid incredible amounts of money to play a children’s game, by all means, get you some. I prefer to take my lead from Det. Jimmy McNulty, boozing and f**king up until it’s over.

At least I won’t be an uppity f**king wet blanket that poops on every party I’m at.

What a great weekend of football! There were some sweet college games to wet our appetite on Saturday for the main course on Sunday: NFL, Week One.

Even though most NFL offenses are still trying to figure out how to run more than eight plays, we did see a few things that stood out. Some things are obvious and some things are just observations.

A few things we learned:

-Sometimes a game winning touchdown isn’t a game winning touchdown. Just ask Calvin Johnson.

-The pass-happy Patriots watched as Tom Brady chucked the ball 35 times; more than twice the number of times than he handed it off. Worked like a charm against the Bungals… but what will happen when they visit Revis Island?

-Kevin Kolb stinks. Jp14 called it best during a KXPS interview when he said the most interesting thing about the preseason was the Eagles’ QB controversy four weeks ago.  I don’t think it was a Donovan McNabb problem. I think it’s an Andy Reid problem.

-Virginia Tech stinks, but that shouldn’t take away from Boise State. They came into Blacksburg and punched the Hokies in the mouth. The Broncos can only beat who they play, and they seem to do that. Lots.

-Alabama can cover a 17.5 point spread. Against a top 25 team. Without their Heisman Trophy winning workhorse. THAT is a scary thought.

-If the Houston Texans can keep their opponents under 30 points a game, they have a legitimate shot at making some noise this year. Unfortunately, that may be too much to ask.

-Jacory Harris ISN’T that bad. Ohio State’s defense IS that good.

-Following Titans running back Chris Johnson on Twitter has dropped my IQ by 20 points. Playing against Titans running back Chris Johnson in fantasy football has raised my blood pressure by 20 points.

-Landry Jones has Norman, Oklahoma forgetting about Sam Bradford. His 380-yard, 4 touchdown performance against Florida State was masterful.

-Sam Bradford has St. Louis, Missouri missing Marc Bulger. His 3 interception performance against the Arizona Cardinal defense was awful.

-The Steel Curtain defense looks much better with a healthy Big Play Troy roaming the secondary, but they need Roethlisberger back. Soon. Dennis Dixon just ain’t cutting it.

-Andrew Luck is a stud and Stanford is better than 15 of the teams ranked higher than them in the coaches poll.

-Mohammed Massoquoi is a solid NFL receiver. Unfortunately, it’s hard for him to showcase that with Jake Delhomme throwing him the ball. Delhomme crumbled mentally after hitting Ronde Barber in stride for a back breaking interception right before halftime, and the Browns offense couldn’t recover.

-I could have thrown a better pass at the end of the Notre Dame/Michigan game. Dayne Crist… are you kidding me with that throw? Jesus hates you now. That’s how Catholics roll.

-The college football overtime rule absolutely destroys the “under” bet.

-Derek Anderson is no Kurt Warner… but he certainly isn’t Matt Leinart either. And I think the Cardinals are just fine with that.

-Jamarcus Russell was a huge problem in Oakland. He apparently wasn’t the only huge problem with the Silver and Black.

-In Carolina, Matt Moore did his best Jake Delhomme impression, serving up 3 interceptions to the New York Giants.

-The Iowa Hawkeyes ROLLED over the in state rivals Cyclones, and have a legitimate shot at a BCS game this year.

-Tim Tebow was late for practice once. His coach made everyone else run for being early. Tim Tebow’s NFL debut was as underwhelming as that joke. Two carries, two yards.

Rookie hazing is alive and well in Denver.  Tim Tebow has gotten a haircut from teammates in a style we haven’t seen since Friar Tuck rocked the bald spot as Robin Hood’s wingman.

LenDale “Tubby” (or is it “Smokie”?) White, the touchdown machine from USC’s championship-team-that-never-happened, who has now inexplicably landed with Broncos, tweeted in typical lmao-fashion:

@THEREAL_LENDALE http://twitpic.com/2ckyyv – Look at Tim Tebow’s new style, lmao… Looks good ROOK!!!!

Now that he’s rocking the Friar Tuck, is Nike going to have to make some special-edition sandals to go along with those shoes they sold out in five minutes?

Twenty bucks says Tebow took it in style.  He probably brought in his own clippers and gave them tips on how to achieve optimum results.

What those teammates don’t know is that they are all going to hell.

But now that NCAA Football 2011 has made him their cover boy, fans of Alabama are showing their dislike for Tebow as well.

Managers at a Gamestop in Tuscaloosa, Alabama have decided to throw in a little twist to the NCAAF cover featuring Tebow by replacing the original cover with one of him crying – a site that most of us Tebow haters remember and enjoy.

But what is surprising is that a company like Gamestop would approve of this change to the covers? Unless all of these are independantly owned, which in that case, they should do s**t like this more often.

Either way, however classless people might think this is, I am just surpised Alabama had the technology to do something this creative? However,  I have a feeling they outsourced the work to an angry Ohio State fan.

The jersey, which is a little bit girly in my opinion, has taken the top spot over Donovan McNabb’s new jersey for the Washington Redskins. But even though the rhinestones on the jersey seem to match the sparkle in Tebow’s beautiful eyes, the length of the jersey could become an issue as it apparently goes just passed the waste-line – hopefully showing off his belly button for all the ladies that just can’t have our little virgin.

Oh, wait a sec? This is a ladies jersey being sold by Reebok? I apologize. I just figured Denver and Tebow were trying to match his personality. Oh well.

But if you ladies out there are interested in buying this douchebag’s jersey, please note Reebok’s recommendations.

Women’s NFL® jerseys from Reebok® have a slimmer, shorter, tighter fit that hits just below the waistline. We suggest selecting a size larger than normal when purchasing these jerseys. If you prefer a boxier cut, a kids’ size may fit better, and if you’re looking for a fuller cut and longer length, choose a smaller men’s jersey.

And if you’re really fat, may we suggest getting a large men’s jersey.

But Boston radio host Fred “Toucher” Toettcher of 98.5 The Sports Hub, had some interesting comments regarding Tim Tebow’s draft party.

“It looked like some kind of Nazi rally. . . . So lily-white is what I’m trying to say. Yeah, Stepford Wives.”

If you take a look at Tebow’s family and friends, there is something quite noticeable about this group of people. But last time I checked, it wasn’t that crazy to have a room full of only white people – But calling him a Nazi because of one bald dude in the background?

Toucher probably knows it was a stupid comment. Fanhouse is even comparing it to Imus’s comments about the Rutgers woman’s basketball team. But what exactly does he expect?

Maybe he thought Tebow’s draft party should look more like these.

In the beginning, Ryan was extremely charismatic. He brought a whole new attitude and defensive mindset to a team that was lacking an identity. His press conferences were sometimes hilarious, and it appeared as though his swagger actually carried over to his players. The team, without a doubt, bought into what the fat man was selling.

But this “f**k everyone” kind of team attitude, which came off as confident at first, slowly but surely turned into more of an obnoxious, arrogant prick that really just needs to get the s**t kicked out of them (Peyton Manning eventually took care of that).

And now, the current offseason for the New York Jets has been nothing short of a f**king circus. The funny fat man that we all laughed at during the Hurricane’s hockey game decided to get Gastric Bypass.

The Jets agreed to become this year’s Cincinnati Bengals, and will appear in HBO’s Hard Knocks.

They signed as many old or troubled free agents/castaways that they possibly could (LT, Jason Taylor, Santonio Holmes, Antonio Cromartie) and after yesterday’s release of the 2010 NFL Schedule, the Jets will get to show their ass on Prime Time five times this season.

The Cowboys are the only team with more Prime Time games, but that’s a whole different kind of hatred that I can’t even get into right now.

Maybe some of my beef has to do with jealousy. As mentioned before, I am a miserable Browns fan.

The fact that Rex Ryan came from Baltimore, who I hate, and now with Mark Sanchez’s instant stardom (which he NEVER would have gotten had the Browns drafted him instead of moving down 30 f**king times), the Jets are just an easy team for me to want to piss on. It makes you wonder if the Jets are saving any surprises for draft day?

Oh my God, I can see it now -

With the 61st pick in the 2010 NFL draft, the New York Jets select…

Tim Tebow from the University of Florida

Why the hell not, right?

Say what you will about Jerry Jones, at least he’s an honest drunk. It also looks like he knows how to have a good time.

Hanging out with Jerry can introduce you to the inner workings of an NFL franchise.  It’s simple, really.  Get real drunk.  Of course he had no idea he was being recorded — the guy may party like he’s 30 but he is still old as f**k.  The YouTube era caught him on the wrong side of sixty.

What we have here is a candid video of Jerry blasting both Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow in under a minute, in addition to anointing Tony Romo to “miracle” status.

“Romo was a miracle.  Bill’s Not Worth A S**t. I Love Him.” – Jerry Jones

Jerry Jones: Romo was a miracle.

Guy 1: It was a miracle, wasn’t it?

Jones: He almost never got in, and he almost was gone. Tebow would never –

Guy 2: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell f**king jerseys?

Jones: That’s the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.

Jones: (Can’t tell what he’s saying here)

Jones: Bill’s not worth a s**t. I love him.

Guy 2: Yeah, I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a s**t, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad about ‘J’s gotta have a yes man.’ So to get this f**kin’ stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn’t take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He’d never get on the field. I can’t get him out there.  I can’t get him out there.

I happen to agree with two of the three assessments. I’ve always felt the Tuna was overrated. He’s won, what, one Super Bowl 25 years ago? Is that what gets you “guru status” these days?  We’ve already covered Tebow and Romo?  A miracle?

But then again, I’m about to lose a $100 bet that Jimmy Clausen will be a top 5 pick, so what the f**k do I know?

Today is a different day.

Orlando Sentinel reporter Jeremy Fowler wrote a piece on Monday night outlining some of Thompson’s comments, and underachievements.  Thompson was quoted as saying:

“You never know with Tim,” Thompson said. “You can bolt, you think he’s running but he’ll come up and pass it to you. You just have to be ready at all times. With Brantley, everything’s with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback.”

Now, anytime you refer to Tim Tebow as not a real quarterback (even indirectly) you are going to draw some attention to yourself.  Tebow is one of the most decorated players in college history and has a following of fans that could easily form their own cult.  The story ran all day.

Fowler wrote about it and Urban got pissed.

In practice yesterday, Meyer confronted Fowler for reporting about it, as well as for shredding Thompson for his lack of achievements.  Urban was not pleased at all.  In fact, he even went as far as to say if he were Thompson’s father, the two would be scrapping right now.  He called Fowler a ‘bad guy.’

Isn’t Meyer supposed to be taking it easy?  This can’t be what his doctors would like to see out of him.

Here is the video of Meyer ripping Fowler:

Here is Fowler’s side of the story:

For decades, coaches have ripped reporters for stories they didn’t like. It comes with the territory when you’re a reporter.

After Wednesday’s Florida Gators practice, it was my turn to catch Urban Meyer’s ire.

“If that was my son, we’d be going at it right now,” said Urban Meyer, pointing his finger and singling me out in front of about 15 or 20 reporters gathered after Wednesday’s practice.

First, some background. Wide receiver Deonte Thompson on Monday talked about the difference between Tim Tebow and John Brantley, how receivers can benefit from Brantley’s pass-happy game. Here was his quote in its entirety:

“You never know with Tim,” Thompson said. “You can bolt, you think he’s running but he’ll come up and pass it to you. You just have to be ready at all times. With Brantley, everything’s with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback.”

Other reporters heard the quote, maybe eight or nine in total, and a couple used it in a story. I wrote about it briefly in the paper, and, on this blog, attempted to provide additional context.

The “real quarterback” quote suggests, at least on paper, that he could be taking a slight at Tebow. Maybe not. Most fellow reporters say Thompson didn’t rip Tebow.

The quote, of course, blew up nationally.

Players were not available after practice, but instead of coming to field questions about the workout, Meyer beelined toward me.

He was coming to defend Thompson.

He was coming to tell me I’m a “bad guy.”

“You’ll be out of practice — you understand that? — if you do that again,” said Meyer, while a couple of spectators still sat in the stands. “I told you five years ago: Don’t mess with our players. Don’t do it. You did it. You do it one more time and the Orlando Sentinel’s not welcome here ever again. Is that clear? It’s yes or no.” (finger pointing toward the face)

“Urban, come on. Don’t make any threats,” I said. “That’s fine. I’ll play by rules. But all I was doing is quoting the guy. I don’t think I was the only one.”

“You’re a bad guy, man,” Meyer said. “You’re a bad guy.”

After Meyer made the comment about what he would do if Thompson was his son and told me to “be very careful,” he located his daughter, Nicki, who was 20 yards away. Seconds later, they both turned in our direction and Meyer pointed toward me.

Meyer greeted players for about 20 minutes and was escorted out of the practice facility in a white truck from the back end of the practice facility, not the main exit where the media stood.

This story is already out there, so I just figured I’d present my side. Coaches get mad, so they approach reporters about it. I get that. A reporter’s probably not doing his or her job without getting blasted once in awhile.

But maybe Meyer felt like making a statement. Considering Meyer is a guy who is trying to suppress his stress level, his doctors probably would have frowned on today’s incident.

Meyer has not addressed the media for interviews since last Wednesday. Players and coaches are currently off limits until further notice.

I will be at Friday’s practice, with questions ready.

Pro Football Talk is reporting that right before the Wonderlic tests were taken, Tebow requested a moment of silence for prayer.

One player retorted with “Shut the f**k up.”  Other players laughed.

The story leaves out two very important things:  1) Did he get the prayer-time?  2) Who was the player?

It does take a fair amount of balls to ask for a prayer right before a test when you consider that there are assuredly atheists in the room.  It just goes to show, he doesn’t care what other people think, he just really loves him some Jesus.