Santonio Holmes Traded To Jets, Suspended Hours Later

In what is surely an effort to lessen the pressure to discipline their players, the Pittsburgh Steelers traded emerging talent Santonio Holmes to the New York Jets for a used tube of antibacterial cream.

Sike (yeah, I went there)! The young standout criminal wide receiver was actually swapped for a 5th round pick. At first glance this looks like a steal for the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. But this only holds up if you look at the young Mr. Holmes football stats.

He had what many considered to be a breakout year last year, catching 79 passes for 1,284 yards and 5 touchdowns. What dragged his value down was undoubtedly his breakout year of 2006, when the then Steelers rookie earned his 1st criminal accusation, a domestic violence charge that was later dropped.

That would prove to be the most exciting thing Holmes did his entire rookie year, and a forecast of things to come. 

In the season prior to his game-winning catch in the Super Bowl, he was arrested for marijuana possession (only his 3rd arrest in 21 years of life, no biggie right?) and subsequently suspended for one game.

Holmes was ALSO recently accused of throwing a glass into the face of a woman in an Orlando night club earlier this year. And now, the league has reported that he will be suspended for the first 4 games of the upcoming season for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. It has not been stated whether he failed a drug test or merely missed one, but I have a feeling he is not using chicken to wake and bake. [Twitter]

I’m not sure if it’s the Jets stated goal or not, but they sure aren’t shy about acquiring problem-children, are they?

Braylon Edwards, Antonio Cromartie, and now Holmes.

Rumor has it that they were very interested in Plaxico Burress too. Along with signing Tomlinson, the Jets will be undeniably talented this year. But this team could be just as bat-s**t crazy as Randall P. McMurphy and crowd.

The only question is whether or not Rex Ryan is capable of pulling off a suitable Nurse Ratched impersonation.