Many prognosticators claimed the Miami Heat as this summer’s big winner. HA! The real victors this summer? Jewish people.
“You’re crazy McMahon!” you say. The Jewish folks haven’t had a legitimate American sports star to cheer for since “The Left Arm of God”, Sandy Koufax. But no longer.
The first major coup for Judaism came when freshly signed New York Knick forward Amar’e Stoudemire discovered that his mother was Jewish. How he didn’t know before now escapes reason. But it would seem that Stoudemire has been searching for something, as he has dived headfirst into the faith.
He immediately scheduled a trip to the Holy Land, and has been spotted rocking a yarmulke and some Hebrew ink!!
Talk about not f**king around!
Next up, was the Prince, LeBron James. He was spotted (and by “spotted” I mean he released a photo to TMZ) holding hands with celebrity rabbi Yishayahu Yosef Pinto.
The man only speaks Hebrew, which explains the Prince’s puzzled look- “I paid this mafaka $100k to speak gibberish to me?!?” No Prince, that’s the Yiddish. And yes, he did fork over 6 figures to a rabbi. Maybe if you weren’t such an ass leaving Cleveland, you could have got a priest to pray with, heyoooo!!!! They’re only jokes, folks.
These two major signings, coupled with the Jews renowned love a certain birthmark-rocking Super Bowl MVP winning QB, could bring about a new age in sports. Instead of every athlete thanking God after every small victory, maybe we will see athletes thanking, whoever it is Jewish folks pray too. Mazel tov, Judaism!!
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One Response to “The Real Winner In NBA Free Agency: Jews”
i always thought stoudamire was a jewish name.