NFL Playoffs: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, & Something Blue

The NFL season is finally down to the last four teams, and while all the other teams are sulking in their own misery, the Vikings, Jets, Saints, and Colts can relish in the fact that all of their hard work has not been wasted.

An NFL season is not just 17 weeks long. It is an entire year of non-stop working out, whether it be physically or just by building team chemistry. The one thing that all of these teams have in common is the fact that they are all TEAMS. These teams all play together as one, and you can tell that they go out there every game playing for each other.

The similarities of a solid NFL team is not much different than that of a healthy marriage. It takes hard work, and not to mention a few “hard knocks” in order to succeed. As mentioned in the last paragraph, the remaining four teams have the right team chemistry that has lead them to where they are now; One win away from making the Super Bowl.

But now that these teams have gotten this far, which one will fail to show up at the alter, and which one will show up with bells on just waiting to f**k their future wife’s brains out?

Something Old: The Vikings may not be the oldest team in the NFL, but when your leader is 40 years old, you will tend to get this title. Brett Favre has not only shown that he can still play in the NFL, but he can still play at an extremely high level. The Vikings defense showed that while playing at home, they can be one of, if not the best defense in the NFL. They will now have to take that show on the road and see if their D can match the intensity that the Saints offense will bring. As long as the old man can still get his dick-up, the honeymoon may not yet be over for a franchise that has not been to a Super Bowl since 1977.

Something New: Mark Sanchez has shown that even though he is a rookie QB, his youth is proving that it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. Stamina is key in whether you are talking about a playoff game in which the last team standing wins, or if your wife is still standing after you plow the s**t out of her. Either way, the goal is to make sure the other is walking funny when you are done with them, and the Jets have proven that they can definitely beat that ass up with their smothering defense. The Jets will be going against their toughest opponent yet in the mean father-in-law, Peyton Manning. No way will Manning allow the Jets to take his baby away from him without a fight, so the Jets better come prepared. Now if Sanchez can prove that he hasn’t already blown his load too early, the Jets may have a slim chance. Very slim.

Something Borrowed: The Saints have yet to win a Conference Championship since their beginning in 1967, so they have had to steal some tricks from other franchises in order to get where they are today. Coach Sean Payton has admitted to borrowing a lot of what he does from his mentor Bill Parcells since his time as the Dallas Cowboys’ Assistant Head Coach. Much like a vibrator to spice things up in the bedroom, Payton is not afraid to bust out the props if necessary. In previous years,  he spread out mouse traps throughout the locker room to warn players to “not eat the cheese” during a winning streak. He left empty gas cans in the lockers of veterans Joe Horn and Hollis Thomas back in 2006 as a motivational tool. He also brought baseball bats to the facility before a game to encourage players “to bring the wood” on Sunday. While all of this may seem gimmicky, there is nothing wrong with showing your team that you are willing to go the extra mile to build chemistry. If he really wants his team to “bring the wood”, he should ask Favre if he can borrow some Viagra.

That's right...I said this big.

Something Blue:

The Colts are by far the most prepared team remaining. They have been committed all season for the long-term relationship that is the Super Bowl. In week 16, the Colts knew they had to let the undefeated season go in knowing that the Super Bowl was the ulitimate goal. It definetly goes along with the saying, if you let something go, and it comes back, then it was meant to be. Now the undefeated season will not come back, but their goal of winning the Super Bowl is still perfectly in-tact. The Colts have only won one Super Bowl this decade, but they have always shown to be the team to beat in the regular season. They are like the man that stays abstenant his entire life, only to cheat on their future wife just prior to the wedding. If only the Colts can keep their dick in their pants for another 2 weeks, thier horrible case of blue balls will all be worth it.