The NFL Seems Determined To F**k Up A Good Thing

The NFL is great. F**king GREAT! It has supplanted baseball as the American pastime. 

Football has never been more popular than the last year. Need proof? The last 2 Super Bowls each topped the 100 million mark in viewership and are the 2 most watched events in TV history , surpassing a 27 year old record. 

That’s more popular than the kid kickin’ in the front seat!

But no, the greedy pig owners need more. Not only do they want to extend the season to 18 games, but they’re locking players out until they agree to a “more equitable split” (in case you hadn’t heard). 

THIS , though, is a bridge too far.

The dickhole owners decided to vote to move kickoffs from the 30 to the 35 yard line.  People like Falcons exec Rich McKay say that they “are always going to have player safety trump the competitive aspects of the game, period.” All the while pushing for 2 more games. I think the absurdity in that statement speaks for itself.

And if player safety is ALWAYS going to trump competitive aspects of the game, then why even let them tackle in the first place?  Fifth graders aren’t allowed to play “smear the queer” anymore either.

In regards to violence-on-kickoffs, Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith has said that his team has suffered one injury (a sprained ankle) in the last two seasons on kickoff returns and coverage. That amounts to almost 2,900 individual plays with one sprained ankle.

It’s no surprise that the Bears organization was one of the 6 that voted against this asinine rule change, given that they have the most dangerous special teams in the NFL.

Devin Hester is the NFL’s all-time leader in kick returns for touchdowns, and S Danieal Manning leads the NFL in 40+ yard kick returns since 2008.

Also not surprisingly, both Hester and Browns returner Josh Cribbs are not pleased about the rule change, as it seriously marginalizes their greatest attribute-the ability to provide their offenses with superior field position over the course of a game.

My main beef with this warped rule is that is going to seriously lower the excitement level of NFL games.

In 1993, the last time kickoffs were from the 35, there were 520 touchbacks, 57 40+ yard returns, and only FOUR touchdowns. Compare that to last season, when there were only 416 touchbacks, 113 40+ yard returns, and 23 touchdowns. TWENTY THREE!!

17 years ago there was one a month. I get laid more often than that.  They also didn’t pass any decent rules to even out this s**t-pile, such as moving out touchbacks to the 25 yard line.

Josh Cribbs put it best when he said “this is the sport we signed up for. It’s a gladiator sport and 5 yards won’t make a difference.”

Not bad for a Kent State Golden Flash. And besides, who wants to get wallet-raped to see a bunch of college soccer players kick the ball out of the end zone every time out?