Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Nowhere has this been more clearly defined than the baseball world this past week.
While the Inferno increased its population by one last week, the good guys just picked themselves up a manger.
Former Cleveland Indians skipper Lou Brown (James Gammon in real life) passed away Friday after a battle with cancer. And just like the old days, it’s the underdog Coach Brown versus “the Boss” all over again.
Lured to the big leagues by GM Charlie Donavan, despite a lucrative dual career of managing the Toledo Mud Hens and selling tires, Coach Brown turned the Tribe from a rag tag bunch of rejects, has-beens, and never-weres into back to back American League champions. He brought back Jake Taylor from the barrio in Mexico, Ricky Vaughn from the California Penal League, and Willie “Mays” Hayes back from his delusions of power, to form a mini-dynasty (by Cleveland standards).
For a Tribe fan, beating the Yankees (whom we used to share a division with) felt great, even if only on film. Known for not taking s**t from anyone, even the bitch owner, Brown melded together talent, experience, and a significant chip on the shoulder into a team Clevalanders could be proud of. With him now at the helm, the boys in white hats are “my kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team.”
In honor of Mr. Gammon’s passing, here we provide you with some of his more well-known quips. Thanks for the memories, Skip.
Lou Brown: I thought you said we didn’t have any high-priced talent.
Charlie Donovan: Forget about Dorn, he’s just high-priced.
Pepper Leach: Look at this f**kin’ guy (as Vaughn pulls up on a motorcycle)
Lou Brown: My kinda team, Charlie, my kinda team.
Pepper Leach: You want me to go get him? (After Vaughn walked the bases loaded then gave up a granny)
Lou Brown: No, keep him in. Let’s see how he reacts. (Vaughn hits the next batter)
Lou Brown: Interesting
Lou Brown: We’re outta towels, and I’m too old to go diving into lockers.
Lou Brown: I’ve had it with this nickel and dime stuff! I want that bitch on the phone!!
Lou Brown: Ok Vaughn. They say you’re a pitcher, you’re sure not much of a dresser. We wear caps and sleeves at this level, son.
Lou Brown: Well, you can run like Hayes, but you hit like s**t. With your speed, you should be hitting the ball on the ground and be legging them out. Every time you hit a ball in the air, you owe me 20 push-ups.
Charlie Donovan: How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Lou Brown: Gee, I dunno..
Charlie Donovan: What do you mean, you don’t know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
Lou Brown: Let me get back to you, will ya Charlie? I got a guy on the other line askin’ about some white walls.
Roger Dorn: See, I’ve got it right here in my contract. It says “I don’t have to do any calisthenics that I don’t feel are necessary.” So what do you think of that?
Lou Brown: throws contract on the ground and pisses on it
Lou Brown: C’mon Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don’t give me this ole’ bulls**t!
Roger Dorn: Hey, I took one in the eye last year, I’m not about to lose my sight.
Lou Brown: I’m deeply moved. Every time you play one off your hips, you owe me 40 sit-ups.
Lou Brown: I love this s**t and I may move to England!!
Lou Brown: BIG KNOCK, BABY!!! BIIIIGGG KNOOOOOOOCK!!!!!
Lou Brown: Alright people, we got 10 minutes til game time, let’s all gather ‘round. I’m not much for giving inspirational address, but I’d just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we’d save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if can give ‘em all a nice big s**tburger to eat!!
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the Indians should have given this guys a shot, couldn’t have done any worse than Manny Acta.