Locker Room Stories: “Paybacks Are A Bitch”

Locker Room Stories is a contest in which readers submit their favorite stories to share with the world.

As a reward for their efforts, the writer of the funniest story will win a 1956 Topps Jackie Robinson baseball card.

This LRS was submitted by reader Sammy D. from Pittsburgh, PA:

Mike (a senior) was giving Marquis (a sophomore) a ride to football practice one day. Marquis forgets to lock Mike’s car door, and someone ends up stealing Mike’s wallet out of his glove box.

In retaliation, Mike took Marquis’s mouthpiece before practice and scraped it across the urinal trough that surely housed piss from yesteryear’s undefeated teams from the ’60s, along with orange rust and cake toilet cleaner.

Marquis finally got to the locker room and got geared up. We all waited, then suddenly and nonchalantly he popped his mouthpiece in right there on the locker room bench.

I then became weightless and collapsed to both knees.

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Do you have a better locker room story?  Send it to [email protected]