Locker Room Stories: “The Handyman”

Locker Room Stories is a contest in which readers submit their favorite stories to share with the world.

As a reward for their efforts, the writer of the funniest story will win a 1956 Topps Jackie Robinson baseball card.

This LRS was submitted by reader Chad P. from Westerville, OH:

Junior year, legion baseball. We are in West Virginia for a tournament.

Our catcher was a kid by the name Scott aka “The Handyman.”  He got his nickname his freshman year for getting caught masturbating at a party, hence the “handy” man.

After 3 nights of sharing a room with this kid, our first baseman could not get a wink of sleep due to the Handyman’s snoring. We decided that night that we would take care of the issue.

After the Handyman feel asleep (or fell into his coma, same thing) 4 of us picked up his mattress, opened the sliding glass doors and carried him within 50 yards of the highway and left Scott, his mattress and his “sweet dreams” outside.

Nearly 6 hours later there is a knock on our hotel door.  Our coach was freaking out because Scott was nowhere to be found.

Turns out, he actually was still asleep on the mattress near the highway. He had slept through the night and into the early morning with a highway 50 yards away.

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