For those of you living under a rock, Nike has been airing the new Lebron James commercial and it is gathering quite a bit of attention across the country. Every bonehead with a Facebook page or a Twitter account is raving about how deep and meaningful it is. These mouth-breathers are treating James’ words like the second coming of Aristotle.
Am I missing something?
The commercial opens with Lebron sitting in a chair, an obvious nod to The Biggest Debacle In Sports Marketing History Decision.
What should I do? Should I admit that I’ve made mistakes? Should I remind you that I’ve done this before? Should I give you a history lesson?
Entering High School, Lebron had the option of attending a public high school in Akron, or choosing to go to St. Vincent St. Mary’s, the up-scale private school. James opted to play for the Irish, where he could hand pick a team that wouldn’t question him (his AAU buddies growing up), a coach he could control (Coach Dru Joyce, father of his best friend), and an overall situation that could be manipulated.
So, yes Lebron. You should admit that you made a mistake, and then learn from it. That’s what a man does.
The next shot is of the infamous “Witness” billboard constructed across the street from the Q in Cleveland.
Should I tell you how much fun we had?
Perhaps you should have done that. Instead, you sat at a press conference after ANOTHER embarrassing playoff performance and told the people of Cleveland that you “spoiled” them…. Then you went on to stab those same people that loved you dearly in the back on national television, without even having the guts to tell the team beforehand.
So, yes Lebron. You should have told us how much fun we had. That may have been a better route to take.
Should I really believe I ruined my legacy?
I’m not sure what other choice you have? You’ll never be Michael. You’ll never be Kobe… and thanks to the 2006 NBA Finals, you’ll never even be Dwayne Wade. You had the opportunity to be the single most spectacular player in the history of the game. Instead, you’re the guy that went to Miami to play with his buddies.
So, yes Lebron. You should believe that you ruined your legacy.
Should I have my tattoo removed? Wanna see my shiney new shoes?
The “chosen one” tattoo is a fraud and your shoes are ugly as hell.
The next shot in the commercial is a nod to Charles Barkley’s Nike Air commercial from the ‘90s.
Should I tell you I am not a role model? Hi Chuck.
Barkley has been extremely vocal about his displeasure with Lebron’s decision, so it’s no surprise that James took a cheap shot at him in the commercial. What Lebron doesn’t seem to understand is that he hasn’t done ANYTHING to gain the right to take a shot at one of the NBA’s all-time greatest players.
In the discussion of all time great NBA players, Lebron deserves about as much attention as Gary and Amber from Teen Mom do in the discussion for world’s best parents.
So, yes Lebron. Tell us you’re not a role model… but to be honest, you’ll be telling us something that we already know. If my son turns out like you, a self-centered manipulative narcissist, I will consider myself a failure as a parent. I will not, however, sleep with Delonte West.
Should I stop listening to my friends? They’re my friends!
Up until this point, I was only mildly irritated with the commercial… but this absolutely sent me over the edge. IS HE SERIOUS?!?! Should you stop listening to your moronic friends? About million dollar business decisions?
YES, LEBRON. YES, YOU SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO YOUR GODDAMN FRIENDS.
Those same friends who are being sued for kidnapping a woman over a piece of jewelry.
Those same friends that convinced you The Decision was a good idea.
Those same friends that publicly proclaimed that race was the reason for the media circus surrounding your free agency this summer.
Hiring your uneducated high school pals to manage every aspect of your multi-million dollar business makes about as much sense as preparing for a hunting trip by learning to play the banjo.
So, yes Lebron. You should stop listening to your friends when it comes to decisions like this.
The rest of the commercial was more self-serving propaganda, and to be honest I am a little disgusted at Nike for putting out such utterly offensive garbage.
Lebron James is a fraud and this commercial is just more evidence of that. If you think this commercial was deep and meaningful and a work of art, you are an idiot. It wasn’t.
It was simply Nike trying to fatten up their cash cow, because after a summer of poor decisions, horrible PR moves, and an overall tailspin in the likeability department, Nike is running out of spokesmen.
Right, Tiger?► Read more articles written by DT.
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