LeBron Is Falling Apart…Again

Remember the first time you had sex?

It was scary, clumsily performed, and it was a little embarrassing. Not unlike how Cavs fans felt following last year’s Game 5 debacle against Boston in the conference semi-finals. And, like your aforementioned virgin ass, the 2^nd time it happened was MUCH better! 

Cavs fans, and decent human beings the world over, were higher than a giraffe’s ass following LeBron’s 2^nd Annual Playoff Magic Show. How do you make the most talented basketball player on the planet disappear? Tell him it’s a big moment. 

Last year against Boston, James was merely a warm body for the entire first 3 quarters, not making his first bucket until there were 5 minutes left in the 3^rd. 

This year, he has a total of 4 points in the 4^th quarters. That’s plural, as in multiple games. 4 of them to be exact. I’d say game 4 was the worst I’ve ever seen him play, but it’s hard to remember him even playing.  And while his production level is almost intolerable, his effort was downright inexcusable. Watch the replay of Dirk’s layup to win it and look at LeBron. He looks like a new species of tree, growing roots right there on the baseline of American Airlines Arena.

If last year is any indication as to how James will bounce back, he will coast upon his limitless potential to a statistically superior game. Game 6 of the Boston series last year saw James post possibly the weakest triple-double in NBA history. He was clearly uninterested in the outcome of the game, and it infected the rest of the team, as they put forth one of the more gutless playoff efforts in competitive sports.

James says he is ready for Game 5 tonight, calling it the biggest game of his life. He had better be ready, because the more he vanishes on the court, the brighter the lights will shine off it.