JOCKpost Top 10: Least “Valuable” MLB Players of 2009

Finally, it’s Spring time!! And opening day for Major League Baseball will be here before we know it. Personally, I cannot wait. Baseball immediately puts me in a good mood no matter what I am doing. Seriously, I could be getting jerked off with sand paper, and if I was watching a daytime MLB game, I would be ok with it.

But this has no value for what this top 10 list pertains to.

Baseball is one of those sports where a star player can completely fall from grace in an instant. It is almost as if baseball is full of 30-year-old NFL running backs. But the great thing for players, is that all contracts are guaranteed, so once you sign that big time contract, it is yours to keep regardless of how s**tty you play.

With this being said, I wanted to put together a top 10 list of the least valuable players in MLB. With “value” being the key word here. Not necessarily the worst players on the team, but guys that most definitely did not live up to their paychecks last year. If I missed someone on your team that stands out, please feel free to add to the list.

10. Travis Hafner – Salary $11,500,000 – .272, 16 HR, 49 RBI – To be perfectly honest, I was surprised by the stats that Hafner put up last year. I actually thought he did a lot worse. He only played in 91 games last season, so durability has obviously been a huge impact on Hafner’s numbers. Well, that, and the fact that he is no longer allowed to take steroids. Oops, did I just say that? I apologize. His lack of productivity is due to injury only. Being injured has nothing to do with no longer being able to take steroids.

9. Manny Ramirez – Salary $20,000,000 – .290, 19 HR, 63 RBI – Manny missed 50 games due to a failed drug test early last season, and his numbers were a reflection of missed time. The only reason Manny isn’t ranked higher on this list, is because when he is playing, people come to watch. The Dodgers have a place in the stands called Mannywood for f**k’s sake. But with this being said, if you’re not playing, you are definitely not showing you’re worth $20 million.

8. Magglio Ordonez – Salary $18,971,596 – .310, 9 HR, 50 RBI – I am sorry, but paying almost $19 million to a guy that is putting up these weak of power numbers is not even close to worth it. The best part of his season was his average, but Ordonez only had 144 hits last year. So if you divide this into his contract, it still comes out to $131, 747.19 per base hit. Talk about a f**king rip-off.

7. Kosuke Fukudome – Salary $12,500,000 – .259, 11 HR, 54 RBI – If it weren’t for the fact that Fukudome probably brings in a good penny for the Cubs organization from his Japanese followers, he could be higher on this list as well. After a quick start to his MLB career, and even making the NL All-Star team in 2009, Fukudome completely fell off the map at the end of the season. At 32 years old, he is not your prototypical rookie, so hoping that he was just tired at the end of the season is not a great excuse for Cubs fans.

6. Vladimir Guerrero – Salary $15,000,000 – .295, 15 HR, 50RBI – The injury bug finally caught up with Guerrero this past season. After many years of having an average of well over .300, Guerrero showed signs of his age as he was often said to actually look as if he was hurting when he ran the bases last year. The Angels could obviously tell that his best years were behind him, as they let him go this past offseason. The Rangers picked him up in hopes that he could still make an impact, but when it comes value for your dollar, Guerrero was a huge disappointment.

5. Alfonso Soriano – Salary $17,000,000 – .241, 20 HR, 55 RBI – Soriano, in my opinion, has been a huge bust ever since he left the Yankees. His power numbers, up until last year, have always been impressive, but the guy is supposed to be a lead-off hitter. A .241 average for a lead-off hitter is not getting it done. Not to mention if you throw in a .303 OBP, and 9 stolen bases, you are talking about a guy that is the definition of an 8-hole hitter. Not a lead-off batter. And more importantly, not a lead-off batter that makes $17 million!!

4. Dontrelle Willis – Salary $10,000,000 – 1-4 Record, 7.49 ERA – What the hell happened to this guy??!! It has been a few years since we have seen anything good come out of the Willis corner, but somehow he is still getting paid like a #1 starter. Willis only made 7 starts for the Tigers last season, and to be perfectly honest, he could be #1 on this list. He is a bum, and a part of me actually feels bad for the fact that the Tigers got suckered into paying him this much money. But the fact that Detroit has two players on this list makes me think that I shouldn’t feel too bad for this organization at all. Idiots.

3. Eric Byrnes – Salary $11,666,666 – .226, 8 HR, 31 RBI – Eric Byrnes had what I like to call, a s**ttier than s**tty kind of year for the Diamondbacks. This is a guy who not too long ago was the face of the Arizona organization, but it just goes to show that if you don’t produce, no one really gives a damn about you. Byrnes was designated for assignment by the D-Backs early in 2010, and the Seattle Mariners picked him up for a whopping $400K! Talk about a salary reduction. Arizona still has to pay the remainder of his over $11 million contract, but I have a feeling they are just happy he is gone.

2. Barry Zito – Salary $18,500,000 – 10-13 Record, 4.03 ERA – Zito may not be as worthless as some of the names on this list, but damn it, there is no way in hell that the Giants are happy that they have to pay a guy who is statistically a #4 starter at best over $18 million. The only thing that Zito has done noteworthy as of late was hitting Prince Fielder in a spring training game in retaliation of Fielder celebrating a victory at the end of last season. Other than that, Zito has been a complete waste of space. Could you imagine getting paid just under $2 million per victory? Well Zito can, and that is why he is #2 on this list.

1. Jose Guillen – Salary $12,000,000 – .242, 9 HR, 40 RBI – The top 4 spots on this list were honestly a complete toss up. They all deserve to rot in hell for all eternity for the way they have played. Ok, that may be a bit ridiculous, but in all seriousness, with the type of seasons that all of these players have had, they should all feel obligated to pay some of their salary back to the owner, fans, or whomever else wasted time and/or money on these losers. But this is the exact reason why Guillen is at the top of the list. Last year, he basically admitted that he did not deserve the type of money he is getting paid.

“I hate making excuses,” he said. “If I suck, then I suck. And I suck. That’s the way I’m playing. If you suck, you suck. You have to take responsibility in this game. Right now, that’s the way I feel.

“Yes, I suck.”

“I’m embarrassed by the money that I making,” Guillen said, “and playing the way I’ve been playing. I’ll swear that on my kids’ [lives]. I feel very embarrassed. “Sometimes, I feel I should take money out of my own pocket and buy tickets for every fan. Because you know what? For a $12 million man, these are not the numbers you should be expecting. I admit it. I’m not playing to my potential.”

Jose, you are correct, and that is why you are #1 on the list…