Jets Advance Cromartie $500K For Child Support

Earlier this week, it was reported that the New York football Jets have agreed to advance newly acquired CB Antonio Cromartie 500 large to settle some of his paternity “issues”.

I guess what most normal people refer to as “children”, he sees as issues. 

For those of you unaware of Mr. Cromartie’s status as a ladies’ man, he has 7 children with 6 different women in five states. Growing up in the shadow of, and attending Florida State, he’s probably never heard of a condom. Or pulling out. Or being a decent human being once you have a child (or 7).

There’s something else interesting about this story. This has to be the first paternity “ruling” that has satisfied both deadbeat dads and baby mamas. He gets to resolve his “issues” before spring practice, and the mothers get the money they’re owed for raising his kids. What did he do with the $11 million he has earned since being in the league? Is he really in need of a $500k float to make it to March 22?? I assume he knocked these girls up on road trips during the season. If not, then I guess his travel expenses would be pretty steep. We know he wasn’t buying Trojans or the Morning After pill.

And what happened to the “grown up lessons” the league supposedly provides? They must limit it to diet and working out in the off-season. Obviously money management and sex ed was left off the curriculum in 06. You would think anyone that has attended college in this day and age knows the dangers of unprotected sex. Also, you would think that since he has millions of dollars, he would be wary of hoodrats tryin’ to stick him for his paper. I mean, I know raw-doggin’ it feels way better, Antonio, but do yourself a favor next time-wrap your whacker before you attack her.

What’s more, isn’t this a bad precedent for the league to be setting? The Jets are basically fronting the money for a f**k-up employee to keep him out of hot water. I can hear Travis Henry’s hopes being lifted from here. Do you think they do this for the guy hocking season tickets for them? I can’t say I’ve ever heard of another company doing this. I think this could have wide-reaching repercussions for dirtbags everywhere.

I’ve got a few dates in the coming weeks, and if all goes according to plan, in about 3-4 years, I’ll be hitting up the JOCKPost for an “advance.”

Whaddya say Editor????