DON’T MISS THIS YEAR’S SUPERDRAFT, AUGUST 26-28

So I sit down and open my laptop. I begin to pour over my player rankings and spreadsheets (don’t judge me), when one of my favorite songs begins to pump out of the top-flight stereo system. At full tilt, Nate Dogg starts preaching to me, that it “ain’t no fuuuuuuuunnnn, if the homeys can’t have nooooooonnnnnnne.”

I agree with him, like I do every time I hear N-A-T-E. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a door swing open, and before I can swivel, I get hit in the back of the head with something spongy.

I turn to pick up the greenest, fluffiest, stankest, stickiest, PHAT-ASS SACK OF CHRONIC I have ever seen in my life!!!!!

I start to twist up a fatty and remember to check the door, and who comes through it but Snoop D-O-double gizzzzEEEEEE, Snoop Doggy Dogg tha Doggfather!

Wrapped around him are two of the tallest drinks of water I have ever seen, one blonde; one brunette.

The blonde is none other than WWE’s Stacy Keibler. I swear, you could bounce a quarter to the moon off of her ass.

The brunette-the freshly minted official 2010 SUPERDRAFT Model. Looking like she does, her name is irrelevant.

As the two beauties take me by each hand and begin to pull me out the door they just came through, Snoop looks at me and says “Nate’s right baby!”

We head towards to the door when I notice Ashton Kutcher and his Nikon EHHH!!!! EHHHE!!!! EHHHH!!!! EHHHH!!! EHHHHH!!! FUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!!!!

I roll over and hit snooze at 6:31 AM and realize that missing SUPERDRAFT again this year will ruin yet ANOTHER fantasy draft of mine. F**k. My. Life.

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Listen here. For all you mother father Chinese dentists that live in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, or even Milwaukee for that matter – if you like fantasy football (because let’s be real, real football is for nerds) – you need to come check out the hard on of fantasy football, SUPERDRAFT, which is held at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas Aug. 26-28.

Not only will you have the ultimate in fantasy football action – food and beverage specials, Wi-Fi availability, roaming fantasy football experts, athlete appearances and SUPERDRAFT models – but they will also have a special concert featuring Snoop Dogg. Ya know, so you can unwind after a long day of draft awesomeness.

I think we’re gonna have to put up a Stacy Keibler gallery soon.