Has The “Cleveland Touch” Left For South Beach?

King Midas is known throughout Greek mythology for having the ability to turn anything he touched into gold.  The term “Midas Touch” has grown popular in today’s society describing a person’s ability to work wonders in their given field.  Though such a spectacular gift seems to have no downside, King Midas eventually realized this gift to be a curse and moved to the hills to escape his torment.

While many of us may not be able to relate to King Midas in this regard, there is one sports city that has had the opposite effect on those who called the city home.  Cleveland, Ohio.  Everything Cleveland has touched in the past few decades has turned to garbage…

Bill Belichick roamed the Cleveland Browns sidelines long before he stylishly rocked the Hoodie in Foxborro.  Going a mediocre 36-44 in the regular season from 1991-1995, Belichick had a less-than-stellar stint in Cleveland, and left for New England.  Since he left Cleveland, Belichick has a .716 regular season winning percentage and three Super Bowl rings.

Shawn Kemp was one of the most explosive players in the NBA when he was rim-rocking in Seattle.  The Reign Man came to Cleveland and must have discovered Slymans Deli because he put on about 60 pounds and lead the team to a sub .500 record.

Braylon Edwards was the 3^rdoverall pick by the Browns in 2005.  In four years with Cleveland, Braylon never had more than 80 catches, and with the exception of the ’07 season, Edwards averaged less than 55 yards per game.  Edwards was shipped off to the Jets.  Since leaving Cleveland, Braylon will be playing in the AFC Championship game for the second season in a row.

Up until this point, the “Cleveland Touch” has been evident.  Like King Midas, being touched by this city as an athlete was a death sentence.  But another King may have the ability to reverse this curse, and that king is none other than Lebron James. 

While in Cleveland, Lebron was untouchable.  The media darling.  Nike’s shining star.  A Q-Score that would make Peyton Manning blush.  A life that could only be described as a rags to riches fairy tale.  The opposite of what Cleveland was used to.

Then Lebron left Cleveland.

Since he took his talents to South Beach?  Much less a fairy tale, and much more a horror flick.  And an exceptionally shoddy horror flick, at that.  Directed by someone who clearly doesn’t get it.  Let’s call that clueless director “Maverick”.

Lebron is the villain.  The heel.   And everything he touches seemingly turns to rubbish.

Lebron has always been big on stars liking him.  Recently Lil’ Wayne was quoted as calling him a “little bitch ass n***a”… 

Lebron has always fed off the positive energy of his fans.  I haven’t seen someone booed like this since The Iron Sheik broke an American Flag over Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s head on a July 4^th edition of WWF Saturday Morning Superstars. 

Lebron has always been big on family and the tender love of his mother.  Delonte West has also enjoyed that tender love.  Because they slept together.

With so much negative energy following the man once called “Cleveland’s Favorite Son”, could the black hole seemingly surrounding Cleveland be uncontrollably drawn away from the Lake Erie shores and directly to the shoulders of Lebron James?  Could that pompous windbag actually end up being the savior of Cleveland sports after all? 

When Lebron decided to announce his Decision in such an arrogant and classless way, the “Cleveland Touch” may have found a new soul to inhabit.

James said it himself, Karma is a bitch… and if there is anyone on the planet that knows what it means to be a bitch, it’s Lebron James.