But it will have to do for now if you just have to see what the hell everyone is talking about.

Old Milwaukee, in my opinion, sucks. Not because of the commercial, but because of the taste of their beer. That’s all I’ll say about that.

I like that there is no dialog. Nothing he could have said would have actually been a fair payoff for the buildup.

It aired only in North Platte, Nebraska. Hopefully someone there can provide us with a better copy soon.

But like usual. I was left disappointed.

When I first saw the trailer and heard that wonderful little jig, I really thought that maybe, just maybe, a sequel would come out that would actually be worth watching.

Maybe it is just a Super Bowl commercial. But I’m guessing I wouldn’t be the only one that would stand in line to see a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off  sequel.

I’m not sure if the video below is real or not (ahem), but according to the YouTube description, this was a video made by the tourism folks in Sandusky, Ohio. It’s a double entendre lover’s wet dream.

Then, I guess, it got pulled. My guess is (ahem) it made some people a little squeamish. Not sure about you, but if I lived in Sandusky, I would probably be trying to distance myself from the whole Penn State child rape thing.

But it’s always good to see people not taking themselves, or child rape, too seriously. Enjoy.

First off, I couldn’t imagine asking someone to marry me if I didn’t really know the answer. Secondly, what kind of stupid bitch would say “no” in front of thousand(s) of people?

I guess this one…

The geezer on the left is none other than Joe Kapp, the only football player to ever play quarterback in the Grey Cup (BC Lions), the Rose Bowl (Cal), and the Super Bowl (Minnesota). He was also the head coach at Cal during  “The Play” vs. Stanford.

The other young man in this brouhaha is Angelo Mosca, he of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, and the infamous 51^st Grey Cup where he hit Kapp’s teammate out of bounds late.

Why these two were brought together 50 years later is irrelevant, but these old guys really know how to hold grudges.

You do, of course!

It looks like someone hit the off button on his remote control.  Or he forgot to charge his battery overnight. Or his Sims manager has been very neglectful.

It really sucks though for the guy. I mean, one minute he’s laughing, the next minute he’s got a mouthful of gravel.

Again, my favorite part is the subtle confusion displayed by the bystanders. They all seem to be wondering, “Is this guy for real?”

Take this guy for example. I bet when he started his glide, the last thing he thought would happen would be to run into a f**king vulture (or eagle in his words). If this isn’t the definition of “anything can happen”, then I don’t know what is. Once again, no thanks.

I will just let these idiots continue to jump from planes and video tape intense moments like this.

This has little to do with sports, but the skill and poise displayed under pressure by the pilot of this Boeing 767 displayed is far better than any athlete we’ve ever seen.

I mean, his LIFE and the lives of 230 others was in his hands — completely dependent on his ability to pull through in crunch time.

So don’t tell me kickers know what real pressure is like.

Too bad we can’t see the whole thing, but the video still shows the plane landing without wheels and skidding to a stop.

Balls.

Landing face first from 15  feet (or whatever it was) was one of the more painful memories from my childhood. Now…multiply that by about 60, and add in a pelvic fracture, lung injuries and a spine injury and me and this dude have something in common.

Luckily, the guy survived even though he was going roughly 80 mph. How? I am not sure.

But luckily for me, I have a 5 day weekend, which has allowed me to lay around all night watching replays from this past week’s college football awesomeness.

I kept hearing about how great the TCU/Baylor game was, so I decided to give give it a go – and I was not disappointed.

Baylor QB Robert Griffin III was as good as advertised as the game itself was one of the more entertaining in recent history…if you hate defense.

But what really caught my eye was at the end of the game. Apparently, this chick was not too happy after losing to Baylor.

Now, I’m not real caught up on the whole religion thing, but I didn’t think it was very Christian to threaten someone’s life? Or is it?

Or maybe I just can’t read lips? Judge for yourself.

Driving to Cincinnati sucked, and the parking was absolutely dreadful. But 4 beers and 2 encores later, it was the best I have felt leaving the Reds ballpark all year.

I was able to record a bit of the action for you guys, but due to need of a Flip camera upgrade, as well as the factor of pure laziness (my arm got tired), most of the best moments of the show will have to stay between myself and the other 30,000 people in attendance.

“Jet” and “Maybe I’m Amazed” – August 12th 2011

I immediately smelled my grandmother’s house. As she and I watched games like the Mets take on the Astros (while she talked about how cute Gary Carter was) I played the Caleco Head-to-Head Football game for hours and hours on end.

As we watched the Cosby show (or the Golden Girls), I was busy mashing this game. I’m telling you, I probably spent 8.3% of my childhood playing this game.

I hadn’t given this handheld beauty a single thought in my adult life until I saw this commercial. I also remember being introduced to the phenomenon of touching a 9-volt battery to your tongue to see if it worked because of this game.

I love YouTube.

Although if my pastor had an ounce of this guy’s sense of humor, I would line up for a front row seat every Sunday morning. 

You have got to love it when one of God’s messengers quotes lines from Will Ferrell movies in front of millions of people.

He got a little too close for comfort and Alberto backhanded the guy right in the face.

You can’t blame him. I can’t imagine how annoying it would be to have these weirdos all running alongside you.

Working sucks. I get it. So even though he is retiring due to injury, retiring at 30 years old knowing that you have enough money in the bank honestly has to be the greatest feeling in the world. Ming had a damn successful career not only on the court, but also with spreading the NBA word throughout Asia.

He is known as a superstar in China, but apparently it doesn’t end their with this Asian affiliates.

Taiwanese animation is usually amusing, but when you throw in a God-like Yao Ming, it’s kinda crazy what these guys can come up with. See for yourself.

Who wouldn’t want Kenny Powers as their CEO? He breaks it off like no other.

K-Swiss took the plunge into adulthood, appointing Kenny Powers as their new CEO.

“That’s right, I’m turnin’ s**t on its goddamned head.” – K-Swiss CEO, Kenny Powers

Honestly, it is a bit surprising to see a company splash its logo all over a video that drops more f-bombs than Andrew Dice Clay.

It’s also refreshing.

So what does Kenny Powers want to do with his new found powers?

“I want to get people to stop acting like p*****s all the time.”

Me too, Kenny, me too.

But just as an FYI, if you’re going to do this, you might want to make sure there isn’t a possibility of you being on national television. Assholes like me will put it out there for everyone to see – and just in case her Dad missed the game last night.

The best part though is waiting during the long ass pause as you know the announcers are completely losing it behind the scenes. They try to come back in with a little bit if dignity, but they failed. And it was funny.

Now I remember why.

In a recent match between Equatorial Guinea (didn’t know that existed either) and Australia, the ball bounces off the side post right into the hands of a defender.

The defender holds the ball for a second or two, drops it like it’s hot and play continues like nothing happened.

Either the refs forgot to show up, or they care about the women’s World Cup about as much as I do.

Check out the video below while you can, before the MLB nazis pull it from YouTube.

If it does get pulled go here.

Watch the replay carefully.  Damn straight he hit it twice!

However, Thailand has created a new spin on the sport.  Not only did they blindfold the boxers, they got them s**t-ass drunk and placed three of them in a ring rather than two. 

Pure genius.  I am honestly pissed I did not think about this first.  With reality television these days, anything can be picked up by FOX or VH1. 

The only problem would be finding a someone stupid enough to referee the matches.