Italian soccer player, Piermario Morosini, tragically died on the pitch during a match.

The video is heartbreaking to watch. He tries to get up a few times, but eventually gives up. It reminds me of Hank Gathers. So sad.

RIP from JOCKpost.

This is probably the funniest video I’ve ever seen. Hyperbole? Maybe.

In what appears to be a Russian soccer match, the fans get pretty graphic with their signs. Immature? Sure. Hilarious? Yes. I lol’d on this one.

I’m not sure if I’m more impressed by the creativity level of the fans, or just the sheer size of that cock.

Thankfully, I was lucky enough to turn on the game against France almost immediately before they scored their last two back-to-back goals. Without that, I’m not sure I would even be mentioning any of this.

But now, there’s no denying that I will have at least one eye on the TV this Sunday when the US plays against Japan in the World Cup Finals. It could be because of Alex Morgan, or it could be because I somehow still have a little bit of pride in my country.

Regardless of the reason, there is some Woman’s soccer feever running through me at the moment, so I figured, what the hell…everyone wants to see video of the US team’s coach, Pia Sundhage, sing a Simon and Garfunkel song, right?

I’m not really surprised so much that she has a decent voice, I just would have assumed a Melissa Etheridge song might have been more up her alley.

This seemingly simple advice was not heeded a few nights ago, when the Mexican team was competing in the Copa America — a soccer tournament in South America — in Ecuador.

While celebrating yet another win, eight Mexican players invited some hookers back to their hotel room. And really, frolicking with hookers and trannies is nothing new to the Mexican team.

After the women left, the players noticed that some s**t was gone. That’s what hookers do. Sometimes you have to chalk it up to the cost of doing business.

Then they made the fatal mistake of calling the cops.

The cops investigated, and surveillance video showed one of the team representatives ushering in the women.

The eight players have been suspended for six months and have been fined around 4 grand.

That’s some expensive tail.

At an end of year party, an unnamed 37-year-old soccer player for Tenby AFC (Wales) thought it would funny to moon his teammates.

Some people get into mooning while others, like me, have no interest in seeing any man’s hairy ass.

Apparently the recipient of said mooning was not appreciative. He grabbed a pool stick and somehow shoved it up his teammate’s ass.

The recipient of the pool stick spent five days in the hospital. It would be safe to say this is not your average team-building exercise.

A friend said: “It was a bit of horseplay that went ­seriously wrong.

“We’d all had a few drinks when one of the lads did a moonie. A player picked up a pool cue and it all went wrong from there.”

The 29-year-old teammate, 29, was arrested but was later released.

Painful? Yes. Humiliating? Definitely. Sodomy? We have a winner!

About 20 seconds into a UEFA Champions League match between Inter Milan and Schalke, Dejan Stankovic side volleys a shot about 50-60 yards into an open goal.

The trajectory of the shot is what’s most impressive.  The fact that the ball traveled almost in a straight line tells he kicked that ball with some serious gusto.

That’s some great field awareness, too.  Damn.

It feels good to take a break from another Ronaldinho video, doesn’t it?

The saddest part of this story: 17-year-old Christopher Jacome made more news headlines after his death than during it.

The best part: his life and his name (which normally would never have made major American news headlines) will forever live on in the annals of Google cache. [El Mundo Spanish | El Mundo English ]

Columbia is the place to go for f**ked up soccer news. People get shot during games, people do coke like it’s Coke, I could go on but you get the idea.

This time, though, the fans did something that’s never been done since we’ve been keeping track.

Friends of the murdered teen, who was shot down in a soccer park Monday, stormed a funeral home and took the coffin. 

They paraded Christopher around town a little, then proceded to fulfill his final wish.

He wanted to take in his last futbol match before being interred.

It’s disgusting, yet awesome.  Appalling, yet easy to understand.

It’s a tribute to a fallen friend.

On a breakaway he decided to remind everyone why he was once considered the best soccer player in the world by completely embrassing the awaiting goalie.

Who wouldn’t kill to get schooled by their hero? Zidane apologized to the kid afterward, sealing the deal on an unforgettable moment for the player.

This is just like LeBron getting dunked on by a high school kid…  Wait a second. It’s the exact opposite of that.

LeBron sucks.

While “larking around” with a loaded .22 in the changing room, he shot 21-year-old intern Tom Cowan from five feet away.  Fortunately for the intern, it was an air rifle loaded with a pellet.

The pellet still supposedly went into Cowan’s side and caused an injury.

The police were not called, as ESPN’s source said that they tried to cover it up, preferring not to let the rabid media get a hold of such an embarassing story.

Too late.  The club plans some form of punishment for Cole.  Not sure what could be harsh enough for shooting someone point blank at work.  Maybe a one-game suspension?

And apparently the FIFA people agreed.

There have now been talks to move the World Cup to winter in Qatar when the temperatures are around an amazing 73 degrees. This would obviously benefit everyone involved, so other than having to rearrange a few schedules, I don’t know what other reason they would have not to make the switch.

But then I got to thinking. If it were 100 degrees or more, could you imagine what the girls would have to where (or not where) just to stay cool? Larissa Riquelme would probably be dressed more like this (NSFW). And if God is a man, that sexy ass Argentina fan would definitely be dressed more like this (NSFW). But if this gets switched to the winter, I’m not sure us fans watching from afar would get the same kind of show. It could be a ratings killer.

Although, moving it to winter could at least prevent chicks from having to wear the Rape Axe.

Watch the video below.  The riot police are ruthless, hitting the s**t out of people with their sticks.

Supposedly, it is quite common for riots such as these to occur after soccer matches between rivals in Jordan.

Stones were thrown, fences collapsed, and riot police were cracking skulls.

It’s a horrible shame to see a sporting event dissolve into utter chaos and violence.  It makes me appreciative that we don’t have this going on in the US.

In the states, the worst thing you see is an 8-year-old getting tackled or a little girl getting puked on.

A little disclaimer about the video, it is not in English.  But there is good footage of what happened, so it’s worth a watch.  The first fifteen seconds really show the best part.  Plus, the news chick is pretty cute.

The ball slowly rolls to you.  You are the only thing standing between the ball and your own goal.  You swing your leg to kick the ball toward your midfielder and…

Oh, s**t.  You missed the ball.  You turn in agony but it’s too late.  Goal.

What?  This happened in the Champions League?  No s**t.

This goalkeeper either really f**king blows, or he just got P-A-I-D.

Check out some other horrible goalie gaffes >>

Just another broken leg soccer video.  This time in slow motion.  Do not watch this if you are eating.

What really sucks is the dickbag in red clearly did it on purpose.  His stomp was nowhere near the ball.  Hopefully the soccer gods teach this guy a valuable lesson. 

All of the countries did a great job compiling video presentations to present to FIFA, but I have to say that the U.S. really went all out representing this great nation we live in. All countries brought representatives to speak in front of the committee, but the cast of characters the U.S. decided to go with really made you wonder where our priorities are when it comes to who represents our country.

Bill Clinton, Morgan Freeman, and Landon Donovan were the U.S. representatives, obviously proving that our goal was to bring in the most diverse, intelligent, athletic, drunken, adulterous group of clowns we could find. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really dislike any of these guys, but I just figure taking 3 guys who have all been involved in some kind of scandal, wouldn’t be the best move.

We all know about Billy boy making his gal pal Monica the most famous cock-sucker on the planet.

“Red” just went through a divorce with his wife of 26 years after being involved in a car accident with another woman in the passenger seat. They claim to be just friends, but this woman then came out saying Freeman had been drinking before getting in the accident. She has also sued him for medical bills, etc.

Donovan had been going through a divorce as well when rumors also came out that he was having a love-child with another woman in England. But he’s our best soccer player, so f**k it, I get that one.

I guess I just don’t get how it was voted that these guys would be the best to represent our county. I mean, I get that Clinton is one charming mother f**ker, but Morgan Freeman? The dude even missed a page of his speachthat he gave to the committee today. He actually said, “I’m sorry, I missed a page”, during his speech.

But what the hell do I know? Maybe the guys on the FIFA committee really love them some Shawshank.

But even I know that when a team loses 55-0 in a game that usually only scores 1-5 total goals, that is some serious ass kicking.

Madron, one of the worst teams in Cornwall’s Mining League Division 1, played against league leaders Illogan Reserves with only seven players, after several players dropped out before kick-off. Probably because they knew they were about to get the piss kicked out of them. Illogan would go on to score an average of 1 goal every 100 seconds, which resulted in the American Football version of an ass-kicking.

The assistant coach of the winning team had nothing but nice things to say after the game.

“At the end of the day it was a league game, it was a waste of everybody’s time, including the referee’s, but we had to abide by the rules and play the game…I have nothing but admiration for their boys, they came into the bar afterwards and they were as good as gold.”

Or maybe these dudes have just given us the video definition of pissing down your leg.

In a span of just a few days, two different soccer players have given us hilarious fails after missing wide open goals that should have everyone questioning their place on a soccer team for grownups.

The first video is from the 2010 Asian Games in a quarterfinal featuring Uzbekistan vs Qatar. The guy roasts the goalie, and instead of tapping it in, the tries some little outside foot flip and it backfires. FAIL #1.

The second video is from a match between SC Freiburg and Borussia Dortmund yesterday, the player named Blaszczykowski or “Kuba” has a wide open goal and he kicks the ball over the net. FAIL #2.

What else can we say?  The pictures say it all.

I mean, honestly, what the f**k is going on here?  Admittedly, this is probably the straightest thing that happened on the field all night.

Another angle?  Still looks like a fisting to me.

Like in the GIF below.  A penalty kick hits the side post and knocks the goalie right on his ass.  A true penalty kick face bomb.  If you don’t laugh, you suck.

There’s a million more funny GIFs on this site.

While setting up for a corner kick and fan sneaks up on an unsuspecting soccer player and grabs him and begins to hump him from behind.  He got in about 2 good humps when he was elbowed off by the player who had to be wondering WTF.  Security grabbed the fan and took him away as the fan made jerking-off gestures to the player.  Maybe he was offering a reacharound.

If you have any tips on what the hell’s going on, share ‘em below.

The players who fell ill are saying they were drugged with a tranquilizer that was spiked in the water they drank.  I feel like I should be more surprised.

According to the Sun, Sport Ancash president Pepe Mallqui blamed the players’ illness on a heavy meal he claimed they had eaten before Sunday’s match.

He said: “They ate barbecued chicken with spices and ended up taking indigestion tablets afterwards. I’m sure these four men fainted because of that and the physical effort they put in.”

F**king hilarious.

Read more at The Sun

Here’s a video.  Don’t ask me about the music — I didn’t make it.