I swore I would never play Angry Birds (beat it) - Siri has been asked every dirty question imaginable – and the HD quality porn is anything BUT distracting.

But what really has me going is this new Action Movie App. It’s fantastic…if you like blowing s**t up.

I took the video below during the Ohio State vs. Wisconsin Men’s bball last weekend (Yes, I had awful seats). And before people start giving me s**t for being a terrorist Ohio State hater, just trust me when I say I am not. I think it is funny. That is all.

So funny, in fact, that I would also like to share it with all of you.

And in return, if you also share a somewhat twisted sense of humor, please feel free to send me your best sports videos of destruction to pics@jockpost.com or hit us up on Facebook!

But that’s usually the case for teammates or possibly even opposing players – not the refs…in the middle of a game…for absolutely no reason.

It’s a little akward, and if you look closely, Illinois C Leonard does appear to look a little confused himself. As he should be. These guys just need to keep their hands to themselves.

But what you probably don’t know, is that I went to college at a small D1 school about an hour outside of Columbus, called Wright State, which is located just outside of Dayton. And these two teams just happen to meet tonight at the Schottenstein Center in Columbus for their college basketball season openers.

I will be at this game. I call it a game, although, I wouldn’t be surprised if the only time this game is close is at opening tip off.

And while I fully expect Ohio State to dominate this game, who should I really be rooting for?

My heart is 100% with the Buckeyes. I could honestly give two s**ts about Wright State sports. When you don’t have a football team, and your basketball team is mediocre in the Horizon League, there isn’t much pride to be had.

But if the game is tied at 70 with 5 seconds left on the clock, should I put aside my current hometown team emotions, and root for the underdog Alma Mater? This will be Wright State’s Super Bowl (assuming they don’t make the tourney), so knowing that Ohio State will have plenty of time to get their s**t back together, should I just turn my Buckeye shirt inside out and start howling at the moon? (I never understood why a Raider howls either, but whatever)

I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do…Go Bucks?

A study done by the National College Player’s Association called, “The Price of Poverty In Big Time College Sport“, shows the estimated salaries that college players should be receiving. It also discusses how college players are basically living under the poverty level.

Below are the charts listing the top ten school’s salaries by sport (College Football and Basketball). Based on these results, the fact that players are getting two game suspensions for receiving $200.00 is hilarious. It also proves that I still have every reason to hate Duke.

College Football

College Basketball

If you’re the Hoyas, this might have been one of those situations where you just shut up and play basketball. Yeah, so the people in the stands might look a bit smaller than usual, but that doesn’t mean you can take on a billion of them.

During an exhibition match in Bejing, the Georgetown Hoyas got into a huge brawl with the Bayi Rockets, and as you can tell, things escalated rather quickly.

I am surprised that the Hoyas were able to walk away from this unscathed, but I do question why chairs were necessary when you have that type of man advantage.

I watched something like 100+ college games this year, pre-tourney, and never once saw this rule used. Obviously because referees are blind. Or maybe it’s just f**king impossible to judge a 2 foot hemisphere from the middle of a point 4.5 feet above your head while sprinting. The current zone is not painted on the floor.

Regardless, this can only be good for the game. It should help to eliminate the flopping that has somehow become a legitimate defensive philosophy. A thorough 2.5 -3 minute search didn’t yield me any stats, but as any sighted fan knows, Duke has raised charge-taking to an almost religious level.

Nothing starts a crowd-boner among the Crazies like a good charge . They have a long line of floppers, from Wojo and Battier, to Greg Paulus, to Zoubek, yada yada yada. (That Paulus vid might be the best/worst flop ever). Go ahead and Google “Duke flops”- you’ll get 2.2 million results, every one of them glorious examples of why people hate them.

They have co-opted the offensive foul into playing basketball “the Duke way”, and it has become so ingrained in their value system that I can’t help but see them being significantly affected by this rule change. They will be forced to change, though. If not, Coach K is about to see the already significant talent gap he suffers against rival Carolina become even wider.

Charges, when implemented as part of game plan, can be an incredible equalizer against a more talented opponent. But it’s a cheap parlor trick; it hides what is in plain sight. This will force teams to be more clever with their schemes, and maybe it will finally expose those preppy chumps for the overachievers they really are.

Well an artist has come out with some renderings showing just how this might all go down.

Not sure I understand why they’re doing this, but it should be a cool event, and I’m sure by the time it comes around ESPN will run about a million commercials reminding me.

It’s just a shame they couldn’t have some respectable colleges playing in the game…

And after what he revealed in a recent Sports Illustrated interview, it’s a good thing his trade isn’t teaching.

Walker admitted in the story that, at the tender age of 20, he just completed reading his first book. Not Goodnight Moon as a child, or Charlotte’s Web in grade school, but Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete.

Hey, at least he wasn’t f**king around when he finally got around to this “reading” thing.

‘So what, he hadn’t read a book until he was 20?’ you say.  I agree. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal. It would be incredible, but believable. I graduated high school with at least one person that I am certain is illiterate.

But Mr. Walker completed three years at a school currently ranked in the top 200 in the WORLD and top 100 nationally. HAVING NEVER READ A FUCKING BOOK.  

How did the pass tests? I know he is majoring in nose-picking Sociology, but what happened to English Lit requirements?

Now I feel like the biggest dope in the world for reading all of those silly “classics” when I was a freshman.

His academic advisor, Felicia Crump, is quoted as telling Walker that “if you can do this, you will leave behind a legacy that’s more important than anything you do on the basketball court.”

Goddamn right you are about that legacy. Walker not only is a helluva baller, he might be the best con artist this side of Drew Rosenhaus.  To quote a brilliant man- “He could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves.”

On the bright side, maybe a new term will we’ll have a new term to throw about – a UConn job: when a school grants an athlete a degree just for being successful, despite all evidence that he is a high-functioning dumbass.

Not that I want him to go away, but like any successful white college basketball player, you just kind of assume he will get drafted by Utah or Indiana and you will probably never hear from him again.

But in the case of Jimmer Fredette, not only will you not be able to forget about him, but you have the chance to be able to stare into his beautiful eyes for the rest of eternity.

For only $14.95, you can get a poster of Fredette looking as cool as ever. At least for me, I know that if I wanted to look cool, dressing in a tuxedo with my basketball shoes on just screams bad-ass. I think the only way he could look any more awesome is if he had on some skinny jeans with a camo shirt.

So if for some reason you want this poster, or if you just want your kids to practice abstinence, you can get your JIMMER poster here.

It was painful to watch.  It was like watching girls high school basketball, where no one ever makes a shot.  A complete waste of time.

I mean, 41 points? Embarassing.  They shot a record-worst 18.8 percent. That’s the worst in an NCAA title game since 1941 when Washington St. shot a lowly 21.5% against Wisconsin.

That’s epic #losing.

As Reddit contributor predhed7 points out, on Tuesday the Nashville Predators beat the Atlanta Thrashers 6-3.

The significance? Nashville shot 6-for-24, or 25%. A goddamn hockey team had a better shooting percentage than Butler did.

Like I said, I normally don’t like piling on people when they’re down, but when you suck that bad in the sport’s biggest spotlight, you got it comin’.

About 3 weeks ago, Illinois College guard Jacob Tucker released a video of himself doing incredible dunks. Tucker’s goal was to drum up enough public support to get selected for the NCAA Dunk Contest.

Well, the Internet has spoken, and it loves 5” 11’ white dudes with hops like Melvin Levett.

Tucker won a Facebook voting contest to become the final participant in last night’s dunk contest, and he did not disappoint.

He ended up winning the event all while attempting dunks that weren’t even on his video. In round two, he tried doing a cartwheel dunk, which would have been damn impressive, but he couldn’t quite get it down. He did also attempt the between-the-legs 360 in the final round, but after two failed attempts, he had to settle for jumping over some guy that was holding the ball, which he then turned into a reverse dunk. Not too shabby.

Even Sydney Deane would have been impressed.

Butler versus Virginia Commonwealth?  Yawn.

People love the NCAA tournament because of bracket challenges, Gus Johnson’s on-airgasms, and early round upsets.  Don’t get me wrong… I love watching a 13 seed knock off a 4 as much as anyone, but that’s where I draw the line.  Watching Butler and VCU play in the final four?  Give me a freaking break.

It’s time to revoke the one and done rule.  It’s ruining college basketball.

Think I’m wrong? 

In 1979, Michigan State and Indiana State met in the NCAA Championship.  Junior Larry Bird faced off with Magic Johnson.  What ensued was the most memorable basketball rivalry of a generation.

In 1985, Senior Patrick Ewing dominated the NCAA tournament until he ran into Villanova in the championship game.

In 1992, Senior’s Christian Laettner and Grant Hill led Duke against Junior Jamal Mashburn and Kentucky in arguably the greatest tournament game of all time.

Fast forward to today.

In the closing seconds of Ohio State’s loss to Kentucky, William Buford chucked up a horrendous ill-advised three pointer.  Forget the fact that Thad Motta should have most certainly called a time out… the fate of the best team in the tournament rested on the shoulders of William freaking Buford?  Where’s Evan Turner when you need him? (Jp14: I was personally wishing for Ron Lewis.)

In overtime, Florida’s Irving Walker chucked up a vomit-worthy last second three point shot, which clanked off the rim giving Butler it’s second trip to the Final Four in as many years.  Walker ended the game 1-10 shooting.  That’s the guy Billy Donovan turned to.  That was his best option.

Speaking of Butler, Andy Samberg Matt Howard went for 16 points and 8 boards in their upset of #1 seeded Pittsburgh.  DeJuan Blair would be a senior had he stayed in school… think the big fella would have had anything to say about that?

The point is that with all of these stars leaving college for the NBA, the tournament is getting watered down.  It’s a shell of it’s former self.  Butler and VCU are not draws.  They aren’t exciting.

In baseball, I don’t go out of my way to watch the Nationals play the Padres.  I don’t care.  There’s not enough star power.

The same goes for March Madness.

I watched the Fab Five for C-Webb and Jalen.  Not Dugan Fife.

The laundry list of NBA phenoms that could potentially be playing in this season’s March Madness is jaw-dropping.  Potential MVP Derrick Rose could be leading Memphis. 

Double-Double Machine Kevin Love could be putting on the powder blue UCLA jersey.  Slam dunk champion Blake Griffin could have the folks in Norman screaming Boomer Sooner all the way to Houston.

Instead, we are stuck with garbage.  Trash.

It’s time the NCAA step in and make the kids stay in school longer.  Not to get an education… but to protect us from a Final Four like this.

Not even Gus Johnson can save us from Butler versus VCU.

Well… maybe he can.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdXeWvucvH8)

Two of them picked this Final Four.

A user named jspearlman has a #1 ranked bracket, having chosen the unlikeliest Final Four in the history of bracketology.

His bracket is not without mistakes.  His major gaffes were picking Louisville to go the Elite Eight, picking Memphis to beat Arizona, and picking Xavier to beat Marquette.

Other than that he is pretty much spot on.  As of the time of this writing, his ESPN comment board is getting blown up with comments like:

“Give me some lottery numbers to play cause these picks r amazing!!!!”

“Jesus Christ you pulled that bracket right out your arse! Congrats”

“Meet me at the sports book at the Bellagio next friday, hookers, drugs, whatever you want, just tell me who is going to win and by how much, oh yeah the first and second half over and unders would be nice too”

He has picked VCU to win it all, so his bracket still has a long way to go.  But if VCU has proven anything to this point, it’s that they can hang with anybody.  Even perennial powerhouse Butler.

Check out jspearlman’s bracket below:

Click to enlarge

Richmond was hogging up the entire tunnel between the locker rooms and the court and Kansas took apparently took offense.

Fortunately we have an amateur cameraman filming the entire thing.  You can see Richmond is very excited, the little guy getting pumped for its battle with the giant.

They may have been a bit douchy by hogging up the hallway, but hasn’t anyone taught Kansas how to say “excuse me”?

All in all nothing happened.  A few meaningless elbows were thrown and Kansas made its point:

“We’re not here to have fun.  We’re here to beat the living s**t out of you.”

And they did.

The media loves his story, and how he got to where he is now.

Truly NBA scouts have to like this kid right? He can shoot lights out. He has intangibles such as his explosive, dynamite offensive prowess that has made him “Legendary” in the College world. He is a lovable guy — he’s college basketball’s version of Tim Tebow, minus the championships.

A kid with his talent who finishes their degree is very rare these days. Maybe Adrian Peterson should have stayed longer in school — he might know the definition of slavery.  

Of course though, almost forgot Jimmer’s defense is completely non-existent. A 6-year-old could crawl past Jimmer and score. You get the idea.  

This is where the love for Jimmer stops.

Jimmer’s seems to just not care about defense. Even Crybaby Bosh knows a thing or two about defense.

 A personal NBA director stated, “I think he’s almost invisible defensively.”

“I watched Jackson Emery out there and he’s guarding like one and a half guys. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Fredette bend his knees at the defensive end.”

Ouch.  I guess Jimmer shouldn’t even bother running to the defensive end of the court. This kid maybe the best pure scorer, but he is a huge liability on the defensive end.

His scouting report so far goes like this: “He has limited athleticism. He’s not the greatest ball handler, He’s just an OK passer, and he doesn’t play defense at all.”

In other words he is just another player who can shoot, literally that’s all he can do. Maybe he knows how to rap? He could kick rhymes with Ron Artest if all else fails.

Some NBA team will take a chance on him.  Probably Utah.  Why not?

For all the love and hype Jimmer has gotten this season, it finally feels like its time to bring it down a notch.

Everybody knows he’s just this year’s J.J. Redick, anyway.

We’re already in the Sweet 16, and here are some of the top surprises so far.

3 ACC teams in the Sweet 16- North Carolina and Duke aren’t that big of a surprise to be joining the Sweet 16, but as a #10 seed, the FSU Seminoles probably weren’t on most people’s bracket – but their defense has proven they can probably slow down just about anybody. The ACC has 3 teams in the Sweet 16, which is just one less than the Big East and Big Ten combined.

UConn and Marquette only remaining Big East teams- All year, I have had to hear how amazing the Big East is. About how it is the deepest conference in the history of college basketball. Getting 11 teams in the tournament almost proved that point – until all of them but two are gone in the first weekend. Kimba Walker is playing like a player of the year candidate should, and Marquette was just lucky enough to meet another overrated Big East team. I wouldn’t be surprised if UConn somehow pulled a Final Four appearance out of their ass, but the Big East is proving they were just a group of mediocre teams.

BYU/Jimmer Ferdette actually for real – I knew Jimmer Ferdettewas a damn good scorer, but I wasn’t quite sure BYU was good enough to make it past two rounds worth of tough tournament games. I understand they have played two non-power league schools so far in Wofford and Gonzaga, but anyone that watched the BYU/Gonzaga game had to see that Jimmer is pretty much a badass. I don’t think they will have enough to get past Florida, but I didn’t think BYU would get past St. Johns so what the hell do I know?

Shouldn’t be surprised: Butler and their coach Brad Stevens at it again – I had Butler losing to Old Dominion in the first round, but that will be the last time I overlook Brad Stevens and the Butler Bulldogs. They may have lost Gordon Hayward, but they still have the best young coach in the game, and they have the experience of the all-mighty Horizon league. Wisconsin is the perfect kind of team for the Bulldogs to take advantage of, so who knows, we might get to enjoy a BYU vs. Butler Elite Eight match-up. Wake me when it’s over.

5 Non-Power Conference teams in Sweet 16 – BYU, San Diego State, Richmond, VCU and Butler are all proving why this is the greatest tournament in all of sports. Even though BYU and San Diego State technically should still be here, seeing teams like Richmond and VCU sneak in this far proves that it is f**king impossible to pick a perfect bracket.

Kansas has 3 double digit seeds in their region – If you told Kansas they would have to get through Richmond and the winner of Florida State and VCU in order to get to the Final Four, I’m guessing they would have gotten so excited they would have pissed themselveslike my dog does when she sees someone new. Although, it isn’t as if Kansas has never had trouble with lower seeded teams. This could end up being a bad thing.

How dominate Ohio State has looked – For most of the year, people have talked as if there hasn’t been any dominate teams. We thought Duke might have been until Irving got hurt at the beginning of the year, but other than that, no one really stood out. But if anyone has watched the way the Buckeyes have played over the past few weeks, including the tournament, it’s easy to say they are officially the team to beat in the Sweet 16. Their next match-up against Kentucky should be the best game of the tournament so far.

Shouldn’t be surprised: I am currently in 3,030,885th place on ESPN’s Tournament Challenge – I am never good at picking these f**king brackets. Usually I do 5 or 6 brackets just so I can say that I picked a certain game in one of my brackets. It makes me feel better about myself. But this year, I decided to only do one bracket, so I shouldn’t be surprised that there are over 3 million people that are doing better than me. Oh well, at least I wasn’t stupid enough to pick Louisville to go to the finals.

VCU was a bubble team – If any team that isn’t named Ohio State deserves to be mentioned as the most impressive team in the tournament so far, it would have to be VCU. They have demolished all three teams they have played so far, including USC in the first round game, then Georgetown, and most recently Purdue – all three from big time conferences. Most people were pissed that VCU even made the tournament. Can we finally say that maybe these guys on the selection committee actually know what they are talking about?

Shouldn’t be Surprised: Pitt chokes again – The Big East might be a bit overrated, but if you had Pitt going to the Final Four, you should probably just smack yourself for being retarded. Pitt always chokes in the tournament, and just because they were a #1 seed, doesn’t mean it is going to change anything. Now, I sure as hell didn’t think they would go down this early, but Jaime Dixon really needs to figure out what the hell he is doing wrong.

The scores would be high, the cheerleaders would be slutty. The world would remain the same, only in this land of make-believe, Gordon Gee would have the authority to get rid of Tressel for not reporting an email he received regarding his star Mathematician.

The below bracket is based on if academics determined the winner of the NCAA Championship.  Some dudes over at Inside Higher Ed put this together using the following methodology:

The winners in our bracket were determined using the NCAA’s multi-year Academic Progress Rate, a nationally comparable score that gives points to teams whose players stay in good academic standing and remain enrolled from semester to semester. Ties were broken using the NCAA’s Graduation Success Rate, which considers transfers and does not punish teams whose athletes leave college before graduation if they leave in good academic standing.

I would call this the “Non-p***y getting” Tournament, but if that were the case, I think we know what team would win that tournament.

Click to enlarge

First, some idiot at work will talk like he has seen every game this season, and will position himself as the office March Madness expert.  You may know that Belmont went 30-4 this year, but you probably haven’t seen them play… and that’s ok.  Don’t be that guy.  Everyone hates that guy.

Second, my girlfriend will undoubtedly have a better bracket than I will, thanks to her foolproof picking strategy that involves people she knows, and how much she likes the things that she associates with those people. 

It goes something like this; “Well Carmen went to OSU and Holly went to Duke… and I like Carmen’s boyfriend who always pays for my drinks more than Holly’s dog that chewed my favorite shoes that one time, so I’ll take the Buckeyes”.

Genius.  Absolutely genius.

Finally, young stars will emerge and we will meet some new household names by the end of the tournament that will be around for a while.  Just ask Stephen Curry.

To keep you ahead of the curve, and hopefully ahead of the office jerk… here is a list of 11 of those stars to watch in the upcoming tournament.

1- Kyle Singler, Duke.  The senior forward averaged 17 points and 7 boards for Coach K this year as the Blue Devils continued to be one of the most dominant programs in college basketball.    Though he may look like Sloth from the Goonies, Singler’s game will have the Dukies making another strong run for a title.

2- JaJuan Johnson, Purdue.  I have a confession…  Though I am a Buckeye fan, JaJuan Johnson is my favorite player in the tournament this year.  The kid can fill it up, and is as fluid a scorer as Purdue has seen since Glen Robinson.  Call me crazy… but I love Purdue.

3- Josh Selby, Kansas.  Selby is going to be an outstanding NBA point guard, and what better place to market yourself to potential suitors than March Madness.  Drawing comparisons to Rajon Rondo, Selby should be coming into the tournament healthy, rested, and ready to lead the Jayhawks to another final four appearance.

4-  Jon Diebler, Ohio State.  Sullinger is the lottery pick, but with defenses collapsing on the big man, Jon Diebler will be free to roam the three point arc and make opponents pay.  Diebler drops buckets for the Buckeyes like atom’s girl drops quarters for Team JOCKpost in the Bud Lite Shoot Out, and will be a key contributor for a title run.  Winning!

5- Harrison Barnes, North Carolina.  The kid is a freak.  6’7, and a projected top 5 NBA pick.  A perfect cocktail of athleticism, smarts, and a fine scorer.  NBA fans from Cleveland, Washington, Minnesota, and Sacramento should pay special attention to Barnes, as he may be headlining your NBA teams for the foreseeable future.

6- Kawhi Leonard, San Diego St.  Leonard is only 19 years old, but has averaged a double/double for his only two seasons at San Diego State.  He knows how to get up for big games, as he has scored 22, 17, and 20 in his three games against BYU this year.  Leonard looks the part too.  Expect big things from the Aztecs.

7-  Derrick Williams, Arizona.  Derrick Williams is Arizona.  He is their leader on both ends of the floor and is averaging 18 and 8.  As Derrick Williams goes, so goes the Wildcats… and that’s good news for Arizona fans.

8- Kemba Walker, UCONN.  Arguably the best all around college basketball player, Walker is battle tested coming out of the Big East averaging 23 points, 5 boards and 4 assists.  UCONN is certainly a team to pay close attention to in the Big Dance, and Kemba Walker is a major reason for that. 

9-  Ben Hansbrough, Notre Dame.  The Irish may be the best team in the land and “Psycho B” may be their best player.  No longer living in his brother’s big goofy shadow, the younger Hansbrough is averaging 18 points per game thus far, and doing it in the Big East.  The one knock on Ben?  Having this douche in the stands every game.

10-  Terrence Jones, Kentucky.  Another freshman on the list, Jones may be the most special in the pack.  Jones long and lean frame creates match up problems for just about any defender.  Averaging 17 points and 9 boards for the Wild Cats, John Calipari has to like his chances coming into March Madness.

11-  Jimmer Fredette, BYU.  You knew it was coming.  Trust me… I am as sick of writing about Jimmer as you are of reading about him, but the kid is special.  Fredette has never met a shot he didn’t like, and lead the nation in scoring.  The Cougars are going to need Jimmer to play his best if they want to advance into the later rounds of the tournament.  I’m not sold though… I just can’t trust a dude named Jimmer.  Or an entire team of virgins

During a TV broadcast Digger Phelps and Bobby Knight were shooting the s**t and Knight claimed that the team was playing “chickens**t defense.”

After everyone got their uncomfortable laughs out of the way, Rece Davis obviously came back and apologized for Knight’s “salty” language.

Of course, this isn’t the first person to drop a chicken s**t on ESPN.  We can’t forget about Barry Melrose’s advice on what Canadians use for crow’s feet.

I bet if you gave him two hundred, scratch that, two thousand tries he couldn’t do this again.

You could offer $1 million and a lifetime with Beyonce. He still couldn’t do it.

But on that one occasion that something amazing like this happens, we need to pay proper tribute.

UConn baskeball player Alex Oriakhi took, sorry, bricked a free throw that bounced high and straight up.  As it bounced it simply stopped on the back part of the rim. It’s one of those moments where, if you happen to be there, drunk, you raise your fist and bellow like a dumbass.

As Richard Patrick would say, “Nice shot, man!”