Brandon Phillips Is One Cool Motherf**ker

Much like Jules Winnfield had a BAD MOTHERFUCKER wallet, Brandon Phillips should have a COOL MOTHERFUCKER wallet.

The Cincinnati Reds Winter Caravan came through town and Atom and I decided to go check it out.  My sons get really excited about autographs; they couldn’t go so we went for them.

Mainly we were there for Brandon Phillips and Marty Brennaman.  My kids could care less about Marty, but he’s like my baseball grandpa so I make sure they acknowledge his importance.

When we first got there we were like “Damn, look at that line.”  It had to be 300 deep. Luckily, BlackBerry and Viigo have made lines much less excrutiating.

I asked a goofy looking guy at the end of the line if he was in line.  He promptly told me “No, but some of the guys have to catch a plane at 1:30, so we can’t guarantee you’ll get an autograph from everyone.”  Later we deduced that this guy is Phillips’ assistant (he’s in the picture above, with the goofy smile, camera pointed right at us).

Immediately we knew that meant Brandon.  I told him “That’s fine, we’ll take our chances,” and thanked him for the warning.  Again, I can do much of my work from my phone so it was no major setback if it didn’t work out.

We waited over an hour, which went by surprisingly quickly.  Jokes were tossed around concerning Phillips sporting some really dark shades and a scarf indoors at the mall.  Sorry, but dudes who wear sunglasses inside are hilarious. 

I saw Phillips stand up.  I figured that was his cue to leave.  “My sons will just have to be happy with the other guys’ autographs” was about the extent of my disappointment.

Then we saw something that surprised us because of its rarity.  Phillips was going down the line, one-by-one and signing everything people presented him.  We’re talking over 150 people.  It was a fantastic gesture to the fans.  Phillips told me he wanted to “Make sure everyone is taken care of,” when I mentioned that to him.

I know my kids will be 10 times more excited than they would have been if he had just left.

Suddenly, his sunglasses weren’t so hilarious anymore, and I officially declared Brandon Phillips to be one cool motherf**ker.